Meeting June 4: The Art of Feedback

Meeting Minutes by Claire Murray:

The Deadwood Writers’ Group met tonight, June 5, at the Barnes & Noble Bookstore in Livonia. It was a good meeting!

Feedback Sessions

We had two pieces of writing to review. One was by Tim Franklyn and the other by Claire Murray.

The feedback for Tim Franklyn’s piece focused on whether or not we noticed any foreboding in the story as well as what did we see as suspenseful? We also talked about what genre we thought his piece would fit in.

The focus of the feedback for Claire Murray’s story focused on whether the readers found the story interesting. And, what could be done to make the story more interesting? Also, would the people giving feedback like to hear more? If so, would they prefer it in story form or as an essay?

After the feedback session, the meeting was adjourned.

Takeaways

Note by John McCarthy:

Giving feedback at the Deadwood Writers’ meeting is a process that is honed and polished from over 23 years of practice. Sessions begin with the author sharing up to 3 areas that they would like feedback from the group. Each area or goal must be specific. For example, instead of saying, “Give me feedback about anything in the draft,” they can ask, “Did you notice any foreboding in the story? If so, please share references. Also share how any spaces where ‘foreboding’ could be improved?”

By asking for feedback in specific areas of the draft, the author sets the focus. This enables readers to hone in on up to 3 specific areas, leading to a rich conversation.

While the group dialogs about the draft, the author remains silent and takes notes. This is a fishbowl where the group talks inside the bowl and the author is on the outside as a spectator.

Finally, the author joins the group to reflect about the feedback. The focus is on what they took away, not on justifying decisions that the readers critiqued. Sometimes more topics for feedback arise that the author asks for during this post-feedback conversations.

Join us for the experience. See what you think.

Next Meeting Information

Wednesday, June 18, 2025
at 7:00 pm in the Cafe
Barnes and Noble in Livonia, MI (map)
17111 Haggerty Rd., Northville, MI 48168

Looking forward to seeing everyone then!

Meeting May 21: Unpacking Meaning

Feedback Sessions

We had five submissions to review. We discussed three of the submissions and will dialogue about the other two at the next meeting. The first two talked about were both by Richard — Coward and Bonamoki. Coward was a short piece packed with drama and tragedy as it told the story about the emotional journey of Raul. The emotional ride kept everyone engaged. Due to it’s short length, meaning through spare use of words was important to the telling. The group shared questions about author decisions about descriptions and omissions for such a compact story.

Point of view was another area of conversation. Participants wondered how readers would react to the story if it were told in first person instead of third person. Would the emotional charge be stronger? As always, it’s the author’s decision as to what to experiment and explore with their writing.

Bonamoki is a longer piece that tells the story of Joe, an older man who recently retired, or perhaps semi-retired. He reminisces about his life, both past and present touched several topics about life that people of different generations could relate to and think about from where they stand. Some topics included one’s inherent value once retired with much work experience, value of one’s time, and engaging with grand children. Richard takes an interesting approach of telling the story through Joe’s reflections about his life, it’s meaning, and purpose.

The next draft came from John, who wrote an article, PfISD Esports Program Promotes Student Engagement and Career Skills. The article was for educators and their local community to explore the benefits of esports for students. PfISD is a school district in Austin, Texas that John worked with, and wanted to highlight what they were doing. The group thought that it met it’s intended audience. However, there were several areas for opportunities to expand on the ideas. For example, the original document included a bulleted list of beneifts:

  1. Social Connections
  2. Club and Team Leadership
  3. Casual Competitions through Intramurals
  4. Serious Competitive Play between Schools
  5. Early Marketing and Production Experiences

The group asked for more information about how these points connected with the article focus. Based on their feedback, John added more explanation for each in the final article version.

The blog post is now live on his website and via LinkedIn.

Takeaways

Meaning takes on many different styles and structures. While details are important for fleshing out a piece, word choice and point of view amplify meaning. Having a target audience in mind effects our choice of phrasing, examples, statements, and from what point of view. The three pieces were each different in style and application of these ideas. All succeeded with their intension. Being mindful of the shape and use of words and phrased based on point of view is important to consider in any form of written, recorded, or verbal communication.

Invitation to Write

For the next meeting, each person will bring at least one page of writing on any topic or genre that they choose. Perhaps consider your audience when you write to make you’re own meaning.

Next Meeting Information:

June 4, 2025
Barnes and Noble in Livonia, MI (map)
17111 Haggerty Rd., Northville, MI 48168

Meeting May 7: Show Don’t Tell and Book Launch

Member Updates:

The Book Witch: An Urban Fantasy Coming-of-Age Novel, written by K.L. Baxton from our group, is published and available on Amazon. Over part of 2024 and 2025, the group read and discussed the chapters as they were shared. The compelling storytelling led to praise and spirited conversations about author craft ideas. Finally, the book is available for purchase so that the wider audience can enjoy what the Deadwood Writers experienced. Already, the reviews are promising for the novel. Congrats!

Feedback Sessions:

We had two drafts to discuss. Because one writer was not able to attend, we had an engaging conversation about author’s craft regarding Tim’s piece. His story was an action thriller with traces of humor revolving around a man, haunted by choices he made in the past. When he opens his door, the bill may have come due.

Based on Tim’s direction, the focus of our conversation dealt with the concept of “show, don’t tell.” He explored theme, imagery, and word choice in several places of the story to present the main character without directly telling the audience what’s what. For the most part, he nailed it. There were some side bar conversations about the ending of the story, as a cliffhanger or the ultimate show don’t tell mystery, when the final scene shows the main character with the villain pointing a gun at him. However, on the main focus, there were rich moments in the story that the group delved into for conversation about the use of craft. One example that was compelling to me is the poignant memories of his father’s voice from the past juxtaposed with the theme: what does it mean to be a hero? The approach was thoughtfully crafted without heavy handed messaging.

Takeaways:

Stories are created in many ways. One approach is what I call triangulation of ideas. For example, a writer has a character in mind, a situation, and a theme. That combo could be the start of a story. This is not a new idea, but remains relevant. It is a way to get started composing.

What if the triangulation of ideas was combined or enhanced with a classic story premise? For example, there are many books that use the premise of characters thrown into a battle royale.  A group goes into the arena, but only one comes out alive. For example: The Squid Games (show), The Hunger Games (novel), Battle Royale (manga), Lord of the Flies (novel), gladiatorial battles (Roman history). Each holds the same premise, yet stand on their own with different characters, situations, settings, and motivations. However, all are remembered by a fan base.

Invitation to Write

For the next meeting, each person will bring at least one page of writing on any topic or genre that they choose. Consider trying the triangulation approach based on a classic premise.

Or not 😉

Join us

Next meeting: May 14 at BN

We meet on the 1st and 3rd Wednesday of each month

Time: 7pm up to 9pm
Location: 
Barnes and Noble in Livonia MI (Map) in the Spring/Summer/Fall

Virtual meetings in the Winter

First Impressions of Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City

(Spoiler Alert)

Anyone who knows me or has been following my blogs knows that I don’t favor the live-action Resident Evil movies starring Milla Jovovich.  What I despise most about this six-film series is the shoddy storytelling, blatantly bad continuity, and the fact that all the established characters from the games play second-fiddle to an all-original character portrayed by Jovovich.

When I first heard that a new Resident Evil movie was in the works that would start from scratch and be truer to the source material, I welcomed the second chance for a stellar cinematic experience.  But the more I learned about the movie’s plot and characters, the more wary I became.  While I didn’t think it was a good idea to compact the stories from the first two games into one film or change the personalities or appearances of the franchise’s beloved heroes, I vowed to keep an open mind and give it a chance.

After I settled into my seat at the theatre and viewed several trailers for other films of interest (Moonfall, Matrix 4, Spider-Man: No Way Home), I ironically found myself thinking during the first few seconds of the Resident Evil movie, Wait, what did I come to see?  It didn’t take me long to reorient myself and kick back for the ride.

I have to give the filmmakers credit for recreating the iconic locations seen in the first two games (the Spencer Mansion and the Raccoon City PD respectively) and for overlapping the unrelated stories in a creative way.  Overall, I liked the narrative and thought it showed promise for the very probable, teased sequel.  There were also some very suspenseful scenes sprinkled throughout the movie that I genuinely enjoyed; I’m glad that the filmmakers changed the narrative to the extent that it generated some truly frightening moments.

On the other hand, my view of the characters themselves is a mixed bag.  While Albert Wesker is far from the emotionless, sunglasses-toting villain that fans know and love, his big-screen counterpart still betrays his team for personal, monetary gain.  I’m open to the idea of Wesker evolving from a more personable character to a badass, superpowered villain—no problem there.  What’s harder to ignore is a pair of psychotic characters (the monstrous Lisa Trevor and police chief Brian Irons) from the first two games being transformed into protagonists\saviors.

I definitely feel that the film’s runtime could have been longer with more emphasis put on character development.  For instance, it’s said through dialogue early in the film that Jill has a crush on Wesker; it would have been nice to see evidence of this sprinkled throughout the story.  One of the film’s main faults is that it does too much telling, not enough showing.  It would be nice to see an extended cut for the home video release that will make up for this, but I won’t set my hopes too high.

In either case, the new Resident Evil film is still a big step up from the Milla Jovovich-centric saga.

First Impressions of Resident Evil Village

On the day that Resident Evil Village released, I began downloading it shortly after midnight and left my PC on to let it work.  By the morning, very little progress had been made, and the estimate for the full download would be twenty-four hours.  Since I didn’t want to wait that long, I shut down my computer and hauled the tower and monitor up from the basement to speed things up.  When I turned it on upstairs, the time was reduced to about two to three hours.

The download finished around noon; following an appointment I had and grabbing a bite to eat, I started up Resident Evil Village at approximately 2 PM.  Even then, I postponed starting a new game in favor of reading through documentation of what occurred between the previous entry in the series and Village. 

I found it interesting to learn that the events of the seventh game were covered up and the survivors of the incident (Ethan, Mia, Zoe, and presumably Zoe’s Uncle Joe) were declared dead by the media\military.  In addition, it is revealed that Ethan and Mia were placed in witness protection in Europe; according to a memo from Chris’ anti-bioterrorism organization (the BSAA), his recent behavior is being questioned by his superiors.  Though I hoped that Zoe would make an appearance in Village since it is indicated that she wishes to see her fellow survivors again, she is absent for this particular game.

For those who might be worried about spoilers for Village, I will carefully word this article to avoid giving away anything major for those who might not have played through to the end.  Bear in mind, I will assume that any fans of the Resident Evil franchise who are reading this have already experienced the opening of this game for themselves.

I was entranced from the moment I started playing Village for the first time.  As I’d learned from trailers, the game opens with a visually-depicted folklore tale being read by Mia to her infant daughter, Rose.  After a brief glimpse into the family’s domestic life, their home is invaded by a rogue military team (though I hesitate to call them that now that I know the full story) led by Chris Redfield; the latter flat-out assassinates Mia in front of her husband by shooting her multiple times.  In the aftermath, Ethan and Rose are taken from their home to be driven to an unknown location.

The nightmare worsens when Ethan awakens during the night in the middle of nowhere, the vehicle transporting him wrecked, the other occupants dead, and his daughter missing.  It doesn’t take long to get to the title locale and encounter the first villager.  I was a bit surprised at how quickly the game transitions from night to day while you’re exploring the inside of a lodging.  I feel that the resulting siege by a horde of werewolf-like creatures would have been more suspenseful in the dark, but it was still nerve-wracking.  I even questioned aloud, “Did I live?” after I was thrown a good distance downstream.

Not long after the siege, Ethan is captured and brought to a summit meeting amongst the five primary villains.  It was intriguing to see the full interaction between the boss characters to get a sense of their personalities and that there is a certain degree of discord among them.  Though the mysterious Mother Miranda is the de facto leader of the group, not all of her generals are unquestionably loyal; only one of the four is confirmed to be wholly devoted to their leader.

Much of what follows revolves around Ethan’s search for his daughter, which takes him through the various headquarters of Mother Miranda’s subordinates.  Each locale has its own unique atmosphere and provides, for the most part, a look into what makes that particular boss tick.

I stated in my previous blog that one of the things that had me most excited about Resident Evil Village was Alcina Dimitrescu, a nine-foot-tall vampire lady with retractable claws.  While she is an intimidating boss, especially once she morphs into her true form to battle Ethan, it’s difficult for me to call her the scariest monster in the game now that I’ve seen everything.  During my first playthrough, I encountered an impactfully nightmarish creature that made me not want to turn out the lights at bedtime.  (Those of you who have played Village up to a certain point will likely know what I’m talking about.  Those who haven’t are in for a treat when you see and hear it.)

As far as the gameplay goes, I do have a few minor complaints.  One thing that irked me on my first playthrough was the amount of searching I had to do to find every scrap of ammo, quest items, or treasures to be sold.  The map indicates which rooms still contain an inventory item you can pick up, but not what it is or where to look for it.    I believe that’s part of the reason why my first playthrough took twelve and a half hours.  I have since played through at least five times, but have not yet been able to recover everything from the castle courtyard; I have no idea what I’m overlooking there.

Another minor issue is that I have some trouble getting the camera to turn, which really becomes a problem when I’m in a combat situation.  I believe this glitch only occurs when I’m carrying the grenade launcher and have a wall to my immediate right or left.  But experience will tell me for sure.

Also, unlike previous games in the series, you’re unable to return to certain locations (such as the castle) once you defeat the respective boss and escape.  Many Resident Evil games allow you to re-explore areas you’ve previously been to and pick up any items you might have missed.  On the other hand, this does add to the replayability factor; you can discover things you overlooked on a previous playthrough.

I’m glad that I remained largely spoiler-free until I experienced the full game for myself.  It was thrilling to watch the story unfold with no inkling on what lurked around the corner.  It made the shocking plot twists and introduction to the various monsters out to kill you all the more exciting or nerve-wracking.  I can’t even count the number of jaw-dropping moments or instants where I stated something along the lines of “OMG!”

I found the ending both amazing and deeply emotional for a Resident Evil game, especially since the main character was someone I cared nothing about in the prior installment\his intro story.  Suffice to say, I feel that the story woven in Village has taken the place of my previous favorite, Code Veronica, and produced dozens of threads to pursue in future titles of the franchise.  And I look forward to what’s next on the horizon.

Just so long as I learn from my mistakes (which aren’t limited to Village) and, rather than stand there like an idiot, run away from the giant monsters who can swallow me whole.