Category Archives: Nonfiction

Why Go to Switzerland?

Just as suspense keeps a story going and your audience interested, there comes a point when you have to tell them what happened. You have to answer the questions you’ve implied or asked directly earlier in the piece.

Why did Abram insist on stopping off in Switzerland first and then coming to America second? The world was at war. He was in Beirut, Lebanon. Switzerland was a long way away. The Nazis controlled many of the countries he would have to pass through and he was a Jew. All good reasons, I would think, to come to America immediately now that he had the Visa and could do it. There was nothing more to wait for.

The excuse he gave my parents and grandparents doesn’t make sense. He needed to stop off in Switzerland first because he had some medical problems. After the Swiss doctors helped him, then he would come.

The world was too dangerous for him to make a stop like that for health reasons. The chances of him being killed were too high. There were plenty of doctors in America he could see after he arrived. No, I believe he had another, much more important reason for going to Switzerland first and then coming to America.

Abram had been a very successful businessman. He grew up in Bucharest, Romania. Later, after he became head of an Italian-American shipping line, the King of Italy knighted him. He was important and wealthy. He was also very generous with his family. He took care of his mother for many years, supporting her in Bucharest and later moving her to live with him in Constantinople (now Istanbul).

Abram was also very generous with his oldest sister, Clara, my grandmother.  World War I ended on November 11, 1918. Abram came to San Francisco sometime in 1919. He invited Grandma, Papa, my Mom and Maximillian, his younger brother who was traveling with him, to travel around Europe for a year, visiting family and seeing the sights.

Everyone was thrilled at the opportunity. From the stories my Mom tells, they had an absolutely marvelous time! They started by taking the ferry from San Francisco, across the Bay to Oakland, where they caught the train to New York City. From there, they sailed on the RMS Aquitania, one of the most luxurious ocean liners of the time.

Mom was six and Maximillian sixteen, not exactly a child but not all grown up either. He used to take her to the park, the circus and out for ice cream while the adults went to shows like the Folies Bergère or out for drinks.

They traveled to France, Switzerland, Rumania and Turkey. From my Mom’s stories, Paris was one of the highlights of the trip: the Louvre, the shops, the people, and the atmosphere. I grew up always wanting to go to Paris, walk down the Champs-Élysées and see if it was as wonderful as she said. It is!

At some point they took the Orient Express to Constantinople. The trip took 80 hours—three days, eight hours. They had a sleeping car and ate in the dining room. Mom talked about how exciting and wonderful everything was!

They stayed a while in Constantinople visiting family. Mom became fast friends with her cousin, Eva, who was about the same age. I’ve seen pictures of them standing together, dressed the same—two cute six year olds with smiles from ear to ear.

Later they went to Romania. One night there was a birthday party at Papa’s mother’s house, with lots of singing and dancing. The highlight of the evening was Papa dancing a Viennese waltz with his mother on her 80th birthday. Many people had tears in their eyes.

Then, in 1929, just before the Stock Market Crash, Abram came again to San Francisco to visit. He also brought Maximillian. Mom was now sixteen and Maximillian twenty-six. Soon they and Grandma and Papa were off for another year in Europe, traveling and visiting family.

Mom had just graduated early from Lowell High School so she could make the trip. When she came back a year later, she started college at the University of California in Berkeley.

When I think about this, it seems clear that Abram was a very generous man, who was also well off, and was happy to share his good fortune with his family. I also think, like many other well off Europeans of that time, he put his money in Swiss banks. It would be safe and secure and the Nazis couldn’t touch it.

When my Dad got Abram the American Visa in 1941, and let him know that the family in America would take care of him, Abram must have thought, I’ve got money in Switzerland. There’s a war going on. Hitler may win. I may never be able to return to Europe. I need to take it with me.

There were no computers in those days. Abram couldn’t just go online and transfer his money from one bank or country to another. He must have found it hard at that point in his life to leave all his wealth behind and be dependent on his America family for the rest of his life. Why not try to bring it with him?

Considering all the odds against him, I don’t know how he thought he could do it. He did know a lot of people and maybe he thought some of them might help him. He spoke a number of languages and he might have thought that would help too.

Abram’s always sounded like a very optimistic person; someone who believed they could succeed against all odds. It must have been awful for him to come so close, Trieste, less than a day’s travel from Geneva, only to be captured. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for him when the Nazis took him off the train and to the Savoia Hotel, where he’d lived for so many years. Did he think he could make some kind of arrangement with them until the very end, or, once they took him off the train, did he know it was over?

If my interpretation is correct, what happened to the money? Abram was murdered in his hotel room at The Savoia Hotel in Trieste, Italy sometime in late 1941. He never made it to Switzerland. So he was never able to send his money to America.

For that answer, you’ll have to come back next month.

Yes, you can publish a book

My thoughts on self-publishing

 

What is stopping you from publishing your book?  You are.

I have self-published two books so far, and I am thrilled about it.  With the introduction of eReaders, writers have complete freedom in their craft.  You have the ability to post anything online through a blog and various social media, and now you have the socially-accepted ability to publish a book.  But that was not always the case.

As recent as 10 years ago, the only way to buy a book was as a printed copy in a brick-and-mortar bookstore.  The only way to get your book into those stores was to sign a contract with one of the traditional publishing houses headquartered in New York.  These companies controlled physical book distribution, and they didn’t make the process of acceptance easy.  Even with well-crafted query letters and strong sample chapters, you still needed a smidgeon of luck that your manuscript found its way to the right editor or agent to believe in you.  If you made it through that professional vetting process, then you had the validation of being a “real” writer.

If your work wasn’t good enough to be accepted by the industry, then the only way to get your story to readers was to fake professionalism.  You had to print it on your own, with the stigma of “vanity press” trailing your byline.  I believe that was a phrase created by publishing houses.  If you had to print and peddle your wares yourself, then you weren’t a professional writer.  This legitimized publishing houses and enhanced their aura of attraction.  Without any sense of quality control or standards, what was there to keep the sludge out?  Such a book was an ego trip, and the only sales would come from family and friends.

On a base level, I understand that perception, especially after my experience at a 1998 independent publishing convention in New York City.  Unknown authors sat at tables just as if they were at a real book signing, so I figured there must have been some judging or invitation to be there.  I came across a hardback book with a colorful cover protected by a clear plastic slipcover.  It was a subject I was interested in writing, so I bought it.  Anyone who looked good must be good.  However, after reading the book, I learned that if you flip to a random page, any page, you will come across a grammatical error, a spelling mistake or a bombing of the F-word.  I’m serious.

No wonder people didn’t trust vanity press authors.  How could you tell a skilled writer from a sloppy ego trip?  Anyone can slap pieces of paper between a sturdy cover; professional-looking photography on the outside doesn’t guarantee that editing and grammatical care was taken on the inside.  I fell for that with the college book.  For all I know, those writers paid to rent table space, so anyone with money could have been there.  Reputable publishers guaranteed those services and more, so you took your chances with independents.

I didn’t have extra cash to toss around just to be labeled a phony.  If I wanted legitimacy as a writer, I would have to play the publishing lottery.

Now welcome to the brave new world of indie publishing.

“Vanity press” fades into obscurity as “self-publishing” gains legitimacy through e-pioneers like vampire series author Amanda Hocking , fantasy writer H.P. Mallory  and mystery-thriller author J.A. Konrath . Self-publishing is now a viable, accepted method of getting books to readers, especially with the popularity of eReaders.

Self-publishing gives anyone the opportunity to be a Published Author.  Young or old, newbie or established, there are no arbitrary opinions guidelines to keep otherwise-successful writers out of the market.  There are no external factors in this enterprise.  No one is sandwiched into a particular subject matter because new genres are created all the time.  Established genres are combined.  There is an outlet for niche topics directed at specialized audiences.  Story length is not limited to traditional page counts. These fringe elements, un-tested and un-proven as even mildly popular, are things traditional publishers would never touch. But you can.

Anyone can be a fantastic storyteller.

Now we can legitimize ourselves.  All writers have egos.

With such ease, there is still that initial concern: how to navigate through the slush to ferret out the gems.  Well, how do you do it now?  When you walk into a bookstore, what do you gravitate towards?  Is it a particular genre, the bestsellers, the sale items or the staff picks?  What makes you pick up a book: cover art, the subject material, the title or reviews and recommendations?  Online browsing is no different.  The book’s “back cover” summary is listed above the reviews.  Just like flipping through pages in a store, many writers offer the reader a sample to download and preview.  Ultimately, you don’t know how good a book is until you read it, just like any traditionally published book.  What is “good” and “bad” is subjective, but now you have more options, authors and books to discover.  It is more likely you’ll find a story worth reading, one you’re interested in.  This is a good thing.  It’s a great thing!

Given that, does a publishing house matter?  Nope.  Readers do not need publishers for distribution because eBooks are available electronically.  I’ve always bought books based on my interest, not the publisher.  Quick, without looking it up online, who publishes Stephen King?  Dean Koontz?  Danielle Steel?  Nora Roberts?  I find that people are brand-loyal with dishwashers, coffee, laundry detergent, cereal and soda pop, but not books.  Think about movies.  Have you ever heard anyone say, “Oh, I won’t see that movie because it’s not produced by 20th Century Fox.” ?  In fact, it’s an honor to have your film selected for the Cannes International Film Festival.  Is that called “vanity filmmaking”?  Many unknown filmmakers are introduced there because artistic quality (good storytelling) is the key there, not the big-name directors (best-selling authors) financed by big-name production studios (publishing houses).

Some writers need that perceived validation.  Some may not want to be involved in the details of work outside of the actual writing.  That’s personal preference.  I’m not one of those people.  I prefer the creative freedom.

Think about it.  You create the cover art you want.  You choose your editor, or make the decision not to use one.  There are no printing costs outside of any print on demand (POD) because publishing is electronic.  You set the price, and you can change that any time and as often as you wish.  At this time, royalties are higher than with a traditional publisher so you earn more money.  You can upload a story of any genre or any length because today’s readers accept both.  You publish on your schedule.  You can upload new versions at any time, thus customizing or updating content.  All it costs you is your time.

Note the theme above?  It’s control.

For all those reasons, I chose to self-publish.  Why not?  As of this post, I have two books available on Amazon.  At short stories that are 21 pages each, no publishing house would waste the ink and dead trees.  I don’t blame them, and I don’t fault them, so I took the power and launched them myself.

Remember that ego thing I mentioned earlier?

Does self-publishing my work–the lack of a traditional publisher– make me less of a writer?  Does having a book in print make me more of one?  I don’t think so, but it’s a fun thing to do.

So far, my self-publishing journey has been a positive one.  I hope you’ll follow me along this adventure because this is not the end.  I’ll continue to share my experiences.  Feel free to share yours in the comments below.

Will I be successful, whatever the definition of “success” is?  Would you be?  How will you ever know if you don’t try?

Nothing is stopping you but you.

 

 

Artful view of Book Inc.

The Bookstore Ethnographer by John McCarthy

Every bookstore has character. That’s what engages or deters customers from frequent visitation. Some are polished formal affairs that feel like a museum or perhaps an art gallery—look but don’t touch. While others may be rustic family affairs where the shopkeepers are boisterous, compelling visitors to engage them in the news of the day or talk about favorite books and authors. Then there are the places where the shopkeeper responds with grunts to give clear directions of book availability and to make change. Along with the people, the books and store structure add to that character.

I’m John McCarthy, and I’m a Bookstore Ethnographer. I travel to many places for my work of Education Consulting. During my “free” time, I love to visit bookstores, where other travelers might find the local pub, golf course, restaurant, or beach. These posts are not intended as reviews. I am a social activist who speaks on behalf of the books. My intention is to capture the character of each store, which is shaped by the selection and care of books by the shopkeepers and the store structure. Follow my Pinterest board for pictures of the stores I visit and follow me on Twitter  for more about my work in Education, Bookstore Ethnography, and other articles. Share your bookstores by comment below or a tweet to @jmccarthyeds. If I’m in the area, I will very likely visit.

Artful view of Books, Inc., 1760 4th St, Berkeley, CA 94710

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A block from the bookstore is an Apple Store, where I stopped to get help with my laptop. The area is filled with shopping and restaurants in what appears to be an affluent neighborhood. Parking close by offers 2 hours of free parking, where I was lucky to find someone just leaving a spot.

The front of Book Inc. reminded me of an art gallery store front with large windows and stone stairs up to a common porch with other stores. Inside, the single room is deep, well lit, and showcases a pristine set up of bookshelves and open lanes to any section of the store. Every genre is represented with new books in tightly fitted shelving. The selection for each genre is modest, which may be due to the size of the store. You can find anything that’s current, with little from past decades except for classics.

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Like some bookstores, there are staff recommendation cards posted by books or author series that share why customers might take a chance on such a purchase. What I found unique to my travels were the reviews posted by customers. The store keeps a basket of index cards, and encourages customers to write their own book reviews. There was one by a high school student whose review was for a YA novel. It makes good business sense to invite these comments, like we find on Amazon and other places. I wonder why I have not seen this great strategy in other bookstores?

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Several employees talked to each other about book related stuff, looking busy as they went about their responsibilities. I walked up and down the store several times without being approached for offered assistance. Maybe I looked like I was zeroed into the books, which would be better than the alternatives. The conversations was business, like you would find at many non-bookstores. Perhaps this is because of the touristy nature of the area? Hard to say from a 25 minute visit. The time was well spent in an artful-looking bookstore.

Stanley and Lucy

Spring is the time that the Canadian geese are visiting in the Metro West Industrial Park in Plymouth, Michigan. Since Chrysan has the biggest front lawn on Keel Street in the industrial park, naturally we have more geese as guests who were looking for worms on the lawn. Occasionally I had to make a sudden stop when a flock of geese were crossing from one lawn to another with little goslings. With a “honk, honk” they crossed the busy street without any rush, just waddling.

A lonely goose waddling on the lawn is very rare. They are always in flocks, or at least in a pair, but once I saw one goose alone on the front lawn. Mmm, that cannot happen … just one goose. Talking to myself, I looked around the south end of the building. Following the pair rule, the male goose was heading to the north with the “honk, honk”, thereby telling her he was coming.

“Kwang, geese never travel alone. They are always in groups or at least in pairs.” He was silent without any comment on my observation. He was digesting why I brought up this unusual subject and also calculating what I wanted from him this time. “So, let’s go everywhere together like geese,” I continued without looking at his face. He was still silent with his face down over the Detroit News. I assumed that his ears were filtering what he wanted to hear. “You are silent. Silence means ‘yes’. Let’s go,” I added.

“Where?” finally Kwang broke his silence in surprise.

“To Grandma’s,” I answered with a soft voice, reading his expression. My mother’s grave is on the corner of Novi Road and 12 Mile Road, at Oakland Cemetery. Our family calls it “Grandma’s grave”.

“No”, with strong rejection, and then he lowered his voice one octave, “You go alone.”

“I just explained about geese in pairs theory, going everywhere together.” My voice was almost begging him to go together to Grandma’s. Late afternoon at the end of March the sky was gray … a snowstorm might start any moment instead of rain. It was getting cold and windy. Once a week visit to Grandma’s is one of my regular scheduled stops since 1996 if I am in town. The most powerful geese’s pair theory let Kwang’s heart thaw, or was it my nagging power … and we went to Grandma’s together as a couple before we finished our cups of coffee as geese.

Two years ago a goose was nesting at the south side of our plant. Actually near the loading dock. For Heaven’s sake, why here? There are many other places to make their nest, I murmured with surprise and uneasy feelings. Then I went to Jeff, the plant manager, who was unloading bulk base oil from a tank wagon. “Hey, Jeff, how long has the goose been sitting on the nest without moving or changing position?” When I asked Jeff, my voice was vibrating with a mixture of deep concern and excitement with the goose nesting.

“Oh, no, Kook-Wha, they take turns. The gander is watching the nest very carefully from a distance, and he takes a turn to let her rest.”

“How do you know if it is female or male?”

“Geese are always together as a pair. The gander is protecting the female who is on the nest all of the time.” Jeff’s observation made perfect sense but he forgot my question … how many weeks has she been sitting on her nest?

I could not control my curiosity. I approached the nest closer and closer, and stopped two yards away. Suddenly with a loud “honk, honk” a goose flew down from the sky. Actually, he came from the roof with “honk, honk”, and he was ready to attack me in full force. I ran away from the nest as fast as I could.

Jeff came over and warned me, “See, Kook-Wha, be careful. You may get hurt. Sometimes they can become quite nasty,” he warned me.

Holding my breath, “Yes. I should.” Then I went back to my office without further observation. A cup of coffee helped my disturbed mind to settle down and I sank into deep thought. Why was the gander on the roof?

“Kook-Wha, is something wrong? You look very tired,” Julie, our office manager, asked me with serious concern.

“Nothing. I am fine.”

Julie left my office shaking her head that she could not understand my unusual behavior.

About one month later Jeff ran into my office. He was almost screaming with excitement. “A baby came out. A baby came out.”

“How many? How many?” I screamed back at him.

Jeff did not answer my question but went back to the nest area. With extreme joyfulness, I wanted to follow him and check into it, but instead I calmed down and just waited in my office for further news.

Through the windows I could see the gander standing five yards away from the nest in the middle of the truck driveway with his head up to the sky. “Honk, honk” expressing his excitement. Jeff still did not give me any numbers. The next morning I saw that the gander was still in the same spot protecting the nest.

In the afternoon I heard really loud “honk, honk” through the windows. It echoed a mixture of desperation and misery. Jeff came to me again quite emotional, and upset … “One baby was killed. A truck ran over it. The gander will not move from the spot.” I saw through the window that the gander was flapping his wings and honking. The poor goose, I turned back from the window and wondered how many goslings were left unharmed.

In the spring of 2009, when I came back from the trip in Asia I found a new goose nest this time it was by the flowerbed on the north side of the building which is near the employee entrance under the conference room windows. It was a much safer place than near the loading dock, but it is still a heavy traffic area. The nest was under the tall shrubs and between the hydrangeas and the Christmas poinsettia. In the morning there was nice sunlight and in the afternoon it has reasonable shadows to protect the geese from sunburn. I am not sure whether a goose can get a sunburn.

Again this foolish goose makes a nest near busy traffic. I talked to myself thinking that I hope this time nothing goes wrong and they have a successful hatch.

As soon as I entered my office Bonnie mentioned, “Did you see the nest?”

“Yes. I saw it. How long has the nest been there?”

“About a week,” Bonnie answered with her face full of smiles.

I did not like her answer at all. I wished It is ready to hatch was her answer instead.

“Just one week?” I questioned her, and then I changed the subject, talking about the trip to Asia. I was getting a headache from anxiety and frustration from previous experiences of geese hatching. How can we keep the nest three or four weeks more without any accidents in order to have the goslings born safely.

I took a picture of the goose sitting on the nest from about 5 feet away. She sat calmly without moving her body but her head was moving to the left and right with fear of my approach. You will be okay, I am trying to protect you as much as possible. Hello, goose, do not worry, I promised her.

Soon I heard a “Honk, honk, honk” noise coming from the roof. The goose was looking down at me from above my head on the roof and he was ready to attack me. Oh, my gosh. Again I upset the gander. Hello, gander, I will not hurt your friend. Believe me, I will not.   I took a picture of him on the roof, too and quickly went back to my office. I was relieved that at least he did not jump on me from the roof.

The next day was Saturday. I got to the office later than usual. Oh, no. Oh, my gosh, what happened last night? I screamed and screamed when I saw the broken nest. Luckily nobody was near to hear my screams. One large unbroken egg was about two feet away from the nest and a couple of broken eggs were on the top of the nest. What happened? What happened? I could not control my screaming from desperate anxiety. I phoned Kwang, seeking comfort from him. As usual he was quiet at the end of the telephone. I hung up slowly, trying to forget the broken eggs.

That same day in the evening we had dinner with friends from Carmel, Indiana. They told us an interesting story about Canadian geese that built their nest just under the dining room window again in the flowerbed. They named them Lucy and Stanley. For weeks Lucy sat on the nest and Stanley guarded it. Even if we had the exact same experience twice, we did not make any comment. We just listened to their story with curiosity and thrills.

Ken and Nancy told us the whole four weeks experience with unbelievable excitement. They gave all sorts of support to have 100% successful hatching. They did not use the front entrance of their house and just watched them from a distance. Also, they told the same story, Stanley was on the roof protecting and watching Lucy on the nest. Their house is in a gated community with five car garage and there is quite a distance between the houses. For four weeks they could only use the entrance from the garage without any inconvenience. Also, human traffic was much less in their community, and in their absolutely quiet neighborhood Lucy and Stanley had the best conditions for hatching the goslings in peace and comfort.

One day they saw seven baby goslings going in a straight line into the pond in their back yard. Of course, Lucy was in the front and the seven goslings followed her. The newborn goslings went into the pond without any fear or hesitation and were swimming away except for one. The last one was hesitating at the edge of the pond and could not jump into the pond. Then later Lucy and Stanley came back and escorted the last one to the pond and watched to make sure that it went into the water.

We did not tell Ken and Nancy our two unsuccessful sad experiences. I could not get rid of the image of the broken eggs in the nest from my mind for a couple of days. As my five-year-old grandson, I asked myself why? Why couldn’t our geese make it in our yard?  I understood the first failure well enough. There was too much heavy traffic of trucks. For the second one all the employees did their best to protect her without disturbing her by walking on tiptoes and closing doors quietly. But if the geese could not hatch in our yard, then what is the reason?

The list of clues of the second failure popped into my mind. It could be blamed on the wild animals. In our large wooded back yard there are still deer, raccoons and other wild animals living there. Every winter I have seen footprints of deer near the evergreen trees around the plants. Maybe at night while looking for food they came and destroyed the nest. One gander could not protect the nest against a wild animal attack.

The vanished nest was about six inches deep and two feet wide, like a fort. A nest consists of mulch with very tight, strong structure like a concrete wall. It cannot be destroyed easily, not like a bird’s floppy nest of straw and branches. It was several layers of mulch with sturdy construction.

I hope they come again as a pair for third and fourth attempts. We will do our best for a successful hatching.

Suspense

Suspense! That’s what brings readers back again and again. If you want your readers to keep reading, you have to give them a reason to go to the next paragraph, turn the page or come back a month later. That’s why I ended my blog last month the way I did.

What did happen to Abram? He had the visa. He could come to America right away. Why did he insist on stopping off in Switzerland first? And, most of all, why did he never get to America?

Abram tried. He really did. His plan was to go from Beirut to Geneva by train.

I just finished looking at a Google Map of the area. I can’t imagine what made him think he could pull it off. He was a Jew, in the middle of World War II. He’d have to travel from Beirut, Lebanon to Aleppo in Syria and then on to Istanbul, Turkey. From Istanbul, he’d have to pass through Bulgaria, Serbia, Croatia to Trieste, Italy. Then it would be a relatively short shot to Geneva.

This is a journey of over 2,395 miles. It’s the same distance as from San Francisco, California to St. Petersburg, Florida. Only he’d have to travel through seven countries, all of them either at war or on the edge, and most of them on Hitler’s side. Today, when I put the information into Google, it said, “We could not calculate directions between Beirut, Lebanon and Geneva, Switzerland.”

Map Picture

I would love to know what he was thinking. How did he plan to do it? Why did he even want to?

Traveling by train, all that distance, would be difficult. How many days would it take? Where would he sleep? How would he pay for his tickets and food? Money was already a problem in Beirut. He wouldn’t be able to travel first class like in the past. And, at his age, he was in his sixties…

I wonder, was Abram ever frightened as he planned his journey? Did he feel overwhelmed? Did he worry that he wouldn’t be able to do it?

To try to figure out how Abram might have planned it, I did a little research on my computer. If I wanted to make the trip today, I’d have to take a bus or taxi from Beirut (A on the map) to Aleppo (B). That’s 186 miles. Then I’d take the train to Istanbul (C) for 768 miles. After that I’d travel for another 991 miles by train to Trieste (D). From there it would be 450 miles more to Geneva (E) and he would have made it!

But I’d be doing it as an American on an American passport. Abram was doing it in late 1941 as a Jew with an American visa that could be dangerous for him to show until he boarded the ship because the countries he was passing through were controlled by the Nazis.

Germany’s puppet government in France controlled Lebanon and Syria until the Allied Invasion of July, 1941. Turkey was neutral in 1941 but Hitler had taken Bulgaria on March 1, Croatia on April 10 and Serbia on April 17. Abram didn’t start out until sometime after June.

What was he planning to use for papers? What acceptable reason could he give for traveling? How did he disguise himself so he could blend in with the other travelers? How did he get enough sleep and to eat so he could function?

The one thing he did have going for him, besides his American visa, was that he spoke a number of languages: Romanian, German, French, English, Italian and probably Yiddish.

Looking at the map, I still can’t believe it that Abram made it as far as he did. He must have been very brave, determined and resourceful. He had a lot of guts. He made it most of the way. He was so close. Then he had bad luck, very bad luck.

Somewhere on the train between Serbia and Italy some Nazis found him. He had almost made it to Trieste, only half a day’s travel from Geneva.

The Red Cross finally found out the truth but not until after the war was over. So for years my parents and Grandma and Papa wrote, telephoned and cabled the Red Cross and anyone else they thought could find Abram and help him come to America. They always believed he was still alive until the night the telegram came.

It was a Sunday in 1948 or ’49. There was a knock at our door. It was Western Union. The messenger had gone to my grandparents’ apartment in Pacific Heights first, and when no one answered, their neighbors told the messenger that every Sunday night Grandma and Papa went to their daughter’s house out by the ocean. They gave him the address. The telegram was from the Red Cross.

I remember my father coming into the dining room, taking my brother’s and my dinner plates, telling us to bring our glasses of milk, and come with him. He took us to our room, put the plates on the floor and turned on the radio to the “Lone Ranger”. Dad told us to stay in the room, keep the door closed and listen to the program. He’d come back and get us.

I remember thinking, this is strange. We were never allowed to bring food to our room or listen to the radio during dinner.

Then I heard my Grandmother scream. I can hear it today in my imagination as I write this. It was so loud and so sad and it came again and again, drowning out “The Lone Ranger”.

I could hear Papa saying, “Clara, Clara”, over and over.

The telegram was from the Red Cross. It said that Abram had taken the train to Switzerland. Somewhere, along the way, just before Trieste, Nazi soldiers had boarded it and found him. When they got to Trieste they took him off and to a hotel room. There they robbed and killed him. All this had happened in 1941. He’d been dead all this time and we never knew.

Why, once he had the visa to America, didn’t he come right away? Why did he insist on making this long, dangerous journey to Switzerland first?

We may never know for sure. But I don’t think it was what he told the family: He was sick and wanted to see a doctor to help him get well before he came to America. I think he had a much bigger, more important reason, one that would make him, a man in his sixties, a Jew in a world at war, make this 2,395 mile journey first.

Next month I’ll write about what I think his reason was.