Tag Archives: art

A Writer’s Confessional Part Two

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Self-doubt is like a disease that goes undetected, sneaks in, and metastasizes when I’m not looking. It sits like a lump in my mind. It’s awful because it can lead to depression. Creative people deal with this every day. And inevitably, when it latches on to my psyche, it leads to fear and then procrastination. Because I can’t fail at something if I don’t start it, right? But then I think of my mantra, “Failure is a bridge to success.” So, I can only keep looking forward.

The start of 2018 is a good one, even if it has been a rocky road. There have been some bumps, okay a lot of bumps, which is self-doubt. I’m still confident that my plan is manageable, which means even the days that I’m down, my goal is still in my mind. It pushes me forward with my writing and art. And I’m still using the bullet journal to see my accomplishments.

The days I wrote and didn’t paint or draw, I used a couple of Donald Maass books on writing. The Emotional Craft of Fiction: How to Write with Emotional Power, Develop Achingly Real Characters, Move Your Readers, and Create Riveting Moral Stake, and his Writing 21st Century Fiction: High Impact Techniques for Exceptional Storytelling. February was a fun, productive month in character development. The exercises will lead to a better outline and scenes that are full and beautiful with story. Each book has great lessons at the end of each section. Questions are listed so I can express the people I create in a more meaningful way. Most questions ask, how would a character react or function to inner and outer conflicts? They help define characters in a way that is more in-depth and intense. The reader will latch onto them to encourage experiencing the emotions the hero and heroines elicit. That’s what I want. It’s what my writing is missing. I even created another character that I didn’t see coming to add more tension to the story arc, which could lead to another book in the series.

There have also been places where my scenes are flat. They have no meaning to the story, or they aren’t becoming a part of who the character is, or fails to show what the place means to a character. I recently finished a chapter and shared it with my writer’s group, Deadwood Writers, for specifically this goal. I wanted the chapter to feel as if the reader was stepping into the soul of the character. That the place I was creating was a living memory of what the character experienced throughout her life and to have the main heroine understand that it was something she could/would want, or as someone put it in the writer’s group, or not. In conclusion, I decided my character isn’t ready yet to deal with what she’s feeling. So, I had to create a space that was lived in and had a good history. But at this point she must have it on pause, like a still painting in the back of her mind, ready to bring it back to life when she’s ready. I was pleased with the result. But you’ll have to wait to read it since it’s in the sequel to Hot Blacktop.

I’ve also worked on some fun projects in my art life, which I also listed in my bullet journal. I was on a mission to see where my art could fit into retail locations, and online at an Etsy store that I’ve started to create. I asked myself questions regarding starting a business along with talking with small gift shop store owners where I frequent. How can I sell my art? Where is the best place to do that? How do you choose the art you sell? Do I need a lawyer to create a business? How do I price my art? I did research online looking up other artists. I found videos, and articles, and will continue to develop what I intend to do.

Even though I stumbled in February, not working as many days as I did in January, I still made good progress. I can’t let the days of idleness get to me. I’m still doing what I love. I’m still learning. That’s all that matters.

Little Free Libraries Deliver the Goods

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LFL1bblue LFLExpectations hinge on a hint of plot—a clever title, an eye-catching cover design or the hook of a story’s first sentence. I recently found three Little Free Libraries (LFL) with clear messages to prospective readers. Although my LFL discovery from last month, Twisted by Jeffery Deaver, makes me suspicious of every motive and surprise plot twist, Deaver delivers suspense from the beginning to the end. Today, however, everything is exactly as it appears.

Little Free Library #1 – Young  and Wild

After a brisk walk, I find LFL #1 in a small green space. In the spirit of modern art, this LFL’s exterior captures the human experience of bold strikes against nature. Artwork like this requires considerable skill to accomplish the appearance of such complete randomness. The book collection tumbles from the shelves. The library’s selection aims for a younger audience.

What’s this? Eric Carle? Pancakes?LFLc I’ve never read this book. I flip through the pages. It’s Carle collage magic. I want to read it, enjoy the hand-painted paper and deceptively clever plot. Should I take it? Instead of depriving a child of Carle’s artwork, I put the book back and find Czech Cookery. I love quirky cookbooks. I search the index for Kolaches. I’m converting to gluten free when I feel a tap on my shoulder. Did I mention I recruited my spouse to come along? He asks if I really want to find all the LFLs in less than one hour. I put the cookbook back, and we walk south for the long stretch to LFL #2.

The spouse is much better with time management, but he’s a magnet for ladies asking for directions. And as with most of our walks, a car with somebody’s mother pulls along side us when I’m in my aerobic pathway. Directions to Detroit? That will take at least ten minutes to explain. No, no, don’t pull out the phone. Not the GPS. I’m jogging in place when he gives me the “chill out” look that both my sons’ inherited. I fidget through his five minutes of instructions and inform him that we will have to walk faster and maybe have to cut through the horse carriage racing track, dodge horse trailers and off-track gamblers rushing to place the big bet of the day. The spouse holds a hand skyward. I feel it too—the occasional drop of rain.

20151213_154704Little Free Library #2 – Whimsical, Worldly and Wise

This LFL is in a parking lot beside the Chamber of Commerce and next to rarely traveled railroad tracks. Despite the setting, the box exudes a magical aura like the tickling of glass or the floating of a hovering hummingbird drawn to a flower. I’m attracted to this box and take a moment to organize the contents. I line up my final two choices of literary fiction, Graham Greene and Richard Brautigan. “Revenge of the Lawn” gets my vote. I tuck the paperback in my jacket to protect it from the rain.LFL2b

We walk west again and curve northward past the historical gristmill turned fitness club. I am a few steps toward the historical village, when I discover a Starbuck’s tractor beam latched on to the spouse luring him in the opposite direction. He says we don’t have time for the last box. It’s raining. He suggests we get a coffee instead. It’s a quest. We must go.

Little Free Library #3 – Meticulous and Meaningful

The last LFL is a tribute to Americana, little red schoolhouses, and all things learned and studious. The library is in a small park in a neighborhood nicknamed “cabbage patch” with playground equipment and benches. You can’t see it in the photo, but a steady rain falls on the fire-engine red sides with precision painted shingles and picket fence. This LFL replicates everything fiery about reading and learning. I find inside my fire, Flash Boys, by Michael Lewis, the book written by the same author as The Big Short. I take it. The spouse sighs and ambles to the new brew pub near Main.

LFL3My quest highlights the collaborative result of the Rotary Club, the Art House and the Public Library to place kitschy Little Free Libraries in the public and encourage reading. I have a bag of books sorted to go to each library for the appropriate audience. If you have a Little Free Library in your life, please feel free to share the art and contents of your box.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Monarch

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Knape, Wendi. Monarch Butterfly, 2008. Ink and watercolor on paper.

Knape, Wendi. Monarch Butterfly, 2008.
Ink and watercolor on paper.

In my last blog Clarity I talked about how much my work has improved since I started writing. What you don’t know is the inspiration that started my writing journey was a monarch butterfly.

Laid off from an at-will company (the company didn’t have to tell me why they let me go) in 2003, I felt lost. My mind spit out all sorts of detritus about why I was let go, bogging me down in a depression that had its claws deep. I was unsure of my talent in my chosen field, which was architectural design. I didn’t know how I should move forward with my career, though I knew that I needed to do something that I would enjoy. At the time I decided to focus more on my family; it just wasn’t going to be enough. The stay-at-home-mom label wasn’t for me. There’s nothing wrong with the designation. Parenting is hard work, and raising my children so they become good adults is important to me, I just wanted something more, so I let my thoughts percolate.

Drawing and painting is a passion of mine, but having the time to do it was hard with a full time job so, I always put it off for another day. Reading is another joy that helped me through some awful days too. Getting lost in worlds that other people create was something that helped pull me out of my mental fog. Eventually, the idea of taking my talent in art and my love of reading got me thinking about pushing my career in a new direction. I asked myself, was it viable? The problem was I didn’t know what it was. Did I have what it would take to make something out of my love of art and reading? Could I help support my family by drawing or painting? How could I take the joy of reading and make it into something worthwhile? I didn’t know, so the thoughts kept going round and round, making me undecided on what street to walk down.

My mind was in a continual loop of worry, as I drove to the store, when a monarch butterfly flew past my windshield. The first thing that popped into my head was, I should paint that. The second thing was what if I wrote a story about the monarch. Could I write as well as the authors I read? I was reading children’s books at the time, my two girls ages were five and three, and those books were illustrated. Could I write and illustrate a book?

That was my ‘aha’ moment. I felt lighter than I had in a long time and got excited about what it could mean for my family and me. Seeing the butterfly wasn’t the only factor, but a primary one, allowing me to throw away thoughts circling in my head that weren’t doing any good. I started illustrating and writing my first picture book, Becoming Lucy, a story about a painted lady caterpillar being bullied because she had yet to go through her metamorphosis.

Knape, Wendi. Painted Lady w/ Ladybug, 2008. Ink and colored pencil on paper.

Knape, Wendi. Painted Lady w/ Ladybug, 2008.
Ink and colored pencil on paper.

You’re probably wondering how I went from writing and illustrating children’s picture books to writing paranormal romance novels. It was a gradual shift, moving from the picture book to middle grade stories, to young adult and finally to adult stories. It was a better headspace for me. Some people would tell you children’s genres are easy to write, but they are not. Getting into the mindset of a child, pre-teen or teen is difficult. I was too serious as a kid and I couldn’t remember how to be a kid and wasn’t able to capture the essence of one. Therefore, I shifted my thinking and tried my hand at something I love to read, romance, eventually paranormal romance.

Already in the Deadwood Writers Group, with their support and encouragement the other writers told me I should try my hand at the romance genre. The change was nerve racking, but I gave it a go and wrote my first sex scene, jumping head first into the deep end of the pool. It felt weird and exhilarating all at the same time, I even laughed aloud because I couldn’t believe I was writing one. It was like a river racing toward a waterfall. Ideas started pouring from my mind into a large pool, it harboring ideas for later. It was fun and I haven’t stopped since. I’m comfortable here. It’s not an easy business to break into but I keep my hope close to my chest that one day it will pay off. I still draw and paint, but writing is my inspiration, and I’m very satisfied.

Happy writing!