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My Top Ten Favorite Badass Video Game Characters

My Top Ten Favorite Badass Video Game Characters

In my years playing video games, I’ve come to particularly enjoy games that are action-packed and feature some of the most impressive visuals that I never tire of seeing.  None of these iconic action sequences would be entirely possible without the right character bringing their unique talents to the table.  Whether it’s heroes or villains who are superpowered, highly skilled in combat, or defy the laws of nature, no game franchise would be complet without a character or two who really kick ass.

The list that follows is my top ten favorite badass game characters and what sets them apart.  Please be warned that there are spoilers ahead.

10.  Rhonda Kreske (Dead Rising 3) — (spoiler alert) It might seem odd to have a tough-as-nails mechanic in the #10 slot, but Rhonda is, in my opinion, one of the best things about Dead Rising 3. From the moment she first appears on-screen as the friend, maternal figure, and employer of the game’s lead protagonist, Nick, her winning personality and take-charge attitude make her an instantly likable character.  She quickly proves she can hold her own when a pair of hoodlums dragged her into a shack for an attempt to rape her only to be sent packing by her within minutes.  As if she isn’t awesome enough, to begin with, she acquires a robotic flamethrower arm to replace her own when it’s cut off toward the end of the game.

9.  Galahad (Aveyond series) – (spoiler alert) The fantasy adventure series, Aveyond, isn’t widely known; it’s likely I wouldn’t even be aware of it myself if I hadn’t downloaded a demo of Aveyond 3: Gates of Night and got hooked. Each entry in the series tells a story separate from the others, with up to a 300-year gap in between games.  Only two characters appear in all four Aveyond games in some form — the vampiress Te’ijal and Galahad, the paladin-turned-creature-of-the-night she tricked into marrying her.  Even though Te’ijal’s been a vampire longer than him, Galahad is the most powerful character present in the series.  In Aveyond 4, he appears out of nowhere and single-handedly demolishes a battlefield full of demons that the four playable characters had no hope of beating.

8.  Big Daddy (Bioshock 1 & 2) – The world of Bioshock 1 & 2 is a massive undersea city called Rapture built to be a utopia for humankind. It falls into disarray after the introduction of a highly-addictive drug that grants superpowers.  The main character in Bioshock 1 discovers Rapture sometime after its decline into a monster-infested ruin.  The most dangerous creatures roaming about are each referred to as Big Daddy, hulks in full scuba gear that wield huge drills as weapons.  While they’re not to be trifled with, each of them serves as a devoted guardian to a young, drug-addicted girl wandering about the city.  Each Big Daddy turns deadly if they think their charge will be harmed.  To make things more interesting, Bioshock 2 flips things around by allowing the player to assume the role of a Big Daddy fighting to reclaim the girl who was forcibly taken from him.

7.  Vaas Montenegro (Far Cry 3) — A good rule of thumb, for both the world of Far Cry 3 and real life, is to make sure the island you’re planning to skydive onto isn’t overrun with drug runners and criminals led by a dangerous psycho. The game’s main protagonist, Jason, learns this the hard way when he and his older brother are quickly captured upon landing; the brother – a soldier no less – is killed during the escape attempt.  From there, it is up to the non-combatant Jason to systematically tear down the empire of the psychotic villain, Vaas.  This undertaking isn’t without its perils.  At some point during the story, Vaas shows off his special blend of crazy when he captures the intrepid hero, ties him to a cinderblock, and shoves him into a pit filled with water without warning.

6.  HUNK (Resident Evil Series) — In a game series populated by experienced fighters, soldiers, mercenaries, and the like, it takes a lot to stand out. One character that does is a Special Forces operative who goes by HUNK (Human Unit Never Killed).  He remains the most mysterious character of all in the Resident Evil series.  His real name was never revealed, and his face is constantly covered with a red-lensed gas mask.  HUNK’s character bio states he has a reputation for being the only operative to come back alive from several team-based missions given to him by the corrupt pharmaceutical company, the Umbrella Corporation.  Though his only real appearances are in Resident Evil 2 and the spinoffs, Umbrella Chronicles and Operation Raccoon City (all set in the year 1998), he is presumed to be still alive and kicking and waiting for a comeback.

Top (L-R) Urdnot Wrex, Vaas, Wesker, Big Daddy, Kratos
Bottom (L-R) Alexia Ashford, Galahad w/ Te’ijal, Rhonda, HUNK, Kai Leng
(photo credits at end)

5.  Kai Leng (Mass Effect 3) – (spoiler alert) The Mass Effect series has many formidable villains to its name, but very few with the aptitude of the telekinetic ninja-like swordmaster Kai Leng. Though he is seen standing idly by in one of the opening movie-style cinematics, he shows just how dangerous he is in his first action sequence. He is sent by a terrorist group to assassinate some high-ranking political figures and knows he must slow down the main protagonist, Commander Shepherd, to pull it off.  Toward this end, he drops from the sky onto the nose of Shepherd’s transport shuttle, stabs the engine with his sword while evading fire, and makes a smooth exit when his ride/shuttle comes in to pick him up.  Despite Shepherd’s best efforts, Kai succeeds in killing one of the politicians unless one of two other characters (Thane or Kirrahee) are still alive to stop him.

4.  Kratos (God of War series) — I must admit that I’ve never actually played any of the God of War games, but I’ve seen enough YouTube videos from other players to have developed a liking for the Spartan anti-hero, Kratos. Over the course of the three main games in the series, Kratos personally takes down many of the central figures in Greek Mythology – Gods, demi-gods, and Titans alike – in a quest for revenge.  Kratos’ thirst for vengeance knows no bounds.  He even claws his way out of the underworld – twice – to satisfy his bloodlust.

3.  Albert Wesker (Resident Evil Series) – Of all the villains in the Resident Evil franchise, there is not one that comes close to sharing Wesker’s particular capabilities. Granted superior strength and agility from a genetically-altering virus, Wesker is capable of easily besting the most experienced combatant and can move faster than a bullet at point-blank range.  Even more remarkable is his knack to stay cool and composed in most situations.  One example to the contrary is when an opponent gets lucky enough to stab him in the arm; the look of rage on his face says it all.  My personal favorite fight sequences are when he goes up against his long-standing rivals, Chris and Jill, inside a mansion, or his close quarters battle against Chris and his new partner, Sheva, in a ship’s cargo hold.

2.  Urdnot Wrex (Mass Effect Series) – Kai Leng is not the only character in the Mass Effect trilogy to take down a shuttle, but the brawny alien leader of Clan Urdnot of the lizard-like Krogan race, Wrex, does so in an extraordinary fashion. To save Commander Shepherd from a ship full of mercenaries, Wrex dives through a window and uses his body weight alone to force the shuttle down onto a platform.  He then proceeds to beat the stuffing out of all the mercs on board.  I was a fan of Wrex even before I saw this takedown, but this scene elevates him to new levels of awesome.

1.  Alexia Ashford (Resident Evil: Code Veronica) – If there were any one character who is arguably more powerful than Wesker in the Resident Evil series, it would be the main villainess in Code Veronica, Alexia Ashford. No sooner do Alexia and Wesker come face to face than she transforms into a humanoid plant-like creature and engages him in a fight.  Though the extent of her powers is never fully explored, what little she demonstrates is enough to make Wesker think twice about duking it out.  One of his punches does nothing more than make her stagger.  Alexia also uses her blood as a weapon, which ignites into flames within seconds of being exposed to oxygen.  The game, in general, doesn’t have the best dialogue, but this showdown is spectacular.

It could be interesting to throw all of these characters together for a grudge match, excluding Vaas and Rhonda since they wouldn’t last a minute, and see who comes out victorious. Granted, Kratos has an unfair advantage due to his tendency to come back from the dead until he gets it right, but Kai Leng’s ability to create psionic force fields are a good countermeasure against the determined Spartan.

Feel free to cast your vote on who would win such a Battle Royale in the comments below.  And be sure to tune in next month as I countdown the top ten things I love about the Mass Effect games.

Photo credits

Rhonda — http://i.imgur.com/pc2Dpqy.jpg

Galahad – https://i.ytimg.com/vi/ZhWFBZHTKYw/maxresdefault.jpg

Big Daddy – http://www.game-art-hq.com/wp-content/uploads/Big-Daddy-Playstation-Allstars-Battle-Royale.jpg

Vaas – http://media1.gameinformer.com/filestorage/CommunityServer.Components.SiteFiles/imagefeed/featured/feature/top10s/derangedvillains/Vaas610.jpg

HUNK – http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/residentevil/images/a/ad/HUNK_by_Aikido456.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20151218195316

Kai Leng – http://img04.deviantart.net/c018/i/2012/079/4/e/kai_leng___mass_effect_3_by_loraine95-d4tfc2m.jpg

Kratos – http://i.imgur.com/cXg7bMn.jpg

Albert Wesker – http://t08.deviantart.net/YDtgwYw3CNf7stcAACMEvu-6TrY=/fit-in/700×350/filters:fixed_height(100,100):origin()/pre01/f49e/th/pre/f/2012/183/0/9/resident_evil_5_by_lena14081990-d55nyxl.jpg

Urdnot Wrex – http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/masseffect/images/1/11/Urdnot_wrex_14_by_johntesh-d4y9jqc.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20130216012755

Alexia Ashford – http://orig07.deviantart.net/4ce5/f/2016/020/e/0/alexia_ashford_mutated_first_form__by_thebeast10-d9oo14v.png

 

An Experiment

digital_book_thumbnailHot Blacktop started as an experiment. I wanted to find out if I could produce a well-devised chapter each month. On July 10th, 2015 I did just that. The journey has been fulfilling. I’ve written, with the help of my editor, Phil, a work that I’m proud of to call a success.

Now that I’ve finished the novella, what comes next? Dipping my toes into an ocean caught in an ever-expanding maelstrom of indie authors that have decided not to go the traditional route is a scary endeavor in my designs for success. Is it better to query several agents knowing the outcome could be a quick toss from the slush pile to the trash after reading the first sentence of the novella or listening to voice from a surprise phone call hearing someone tell me they’re interested in my work?

The first is common. The second is rare but more satisfying. Is it a safer to get my work up in e-book format and see what happens, knowing that it’s finally out there in the world of e-commerce so people can read it right away, no chance that it will be rejected and not seen at all? In the back of my mind, these questions have had me waffling all year. My brain feels like I’ve been balancing one foot on a thin board while my arms get heavier and heavier with the weight of each decision as I rebalance myself. It was a difficult decision.

Finally, I decided to take the leap. I’ve started the process to e-publish. A few of my writer friends have already jumped in, and it seemed painless if not time-consuming, and they appear to be happy with the outcome. So I’m going to reach forward with long strokes and swim in the sea of indie romance writers, and hope that I gain a following, hope that readers like what I have to offer, and hope that Hot Blacktop becomes a success.

Coming in January 2017 the full novella,
Hot Blacktop by Wendi Knape

Also coming in January, The Hot Blacktop series continues with Christof and Megan in:
Hot Turns

My List of Top Ten Things Wrong With Resident Evil 6

In my August 2016 blogpost, I stated that the 2012 video game, Resident Evil 6, deserved its own list of nitpicks. It’s my opinion that RE6’s developers went way overboard in terms of content, and it resulted in one of the most flawed video games I’ve ever played.  Though none of the previous games in the series is entirely perfect, the one thing that they all have going for them is that they operated on a small scale.  Generally, each is limited to 1-3 main characters that the player can control throughout the game and take place in areas that are limited in scope.

2016-9Sept-Photo1

From L to R – Jake, Sherry, Chris, Piers, Helena, Leon, Ada (photo credit below)

RE6 upped the ante by giving the player their choice of seven separate characters to play – four returning from previous games and three newcomers – and having the action taking place in the United States, China, and somewhere in Eastern Europe, as well as on a submarine, a jumbo passenger jet, an aircraft carrier, and a deep-sea oil rig. I feel that both elements ended up hurting the game since more time was spent on their development than on crafting a solid story. (Photo credit)  As if the game didn’t suffer enough with its wider character selection and global scale, I found RE6’s many monsters either annoying or over-the-top.  If the developers had spent as much time working out the kinks in the narrative as they did designing the characters, creatures, and environments, the game would be much more enjoyable.

While I have my share of problems with this game, I don’t hate it as much as many players whose scathing reviews I’ve seen. I consider myself pretty open-minded, and one of the things I do like is how RE6 has four separate campaigns that each contain a piece of a much larger story.

Before I delve into a breakdown on what irked me the most about RE6, I’ll start with an overview of each of the four scenarios.  Government agent Leon Kennedy strives to expose the mastermind behind a string of outbreaks and teams with a rogue Secret Service agent named Helena Harper who was coerced into committing acts of terrorism.  Captain Chris Redfield of the Bioterrorism Security Assessment Alliance (B.S.A.A.) seeks revenge against a female terrorist who decimated a military team he commanded, while Chris’ protégé, Piers Nivans, strives to keep him from crossing the line.  NSA operative Sherry Birkin undertakes a mission to find and protect a mercenary named Jake Muller, whose blood may hold the key to neutralizing a new manmade virus that’s been unleashed on the world.  And corporate spy Ada Wong launches her own investigation when she discovers she will be made a scapegoat for these new acts of bio-terrorism.  For anyone who may not have played this game but would like to, please be warned that there are spoilers ahead.

And now, on with the list.

10) Leon has an insane amount of patience.

After being forced to kill the zombified U.S. President, Adam Benford, at the start of her and Leon’s story, Helena comments out loud that the President’s death is her fault.  Each time Leon questions her for an explanation throughout the first two chapters of their campaign, she continually makes excuses for procrastinating.  Even though he was close friends with President Benford and only just met Helena, I can understand Leon letting it slide once or twice.  But it’s a wonder he doesn’t lose it after she blows him off a total of five times.  What makes the scenario even more insane is that when Helena finally does reveal what going on, her whole character is called into question.  At the end of the second chapter, she discloses that she was compromised because her sister’s life was on the line.

9) Psychological trauma, what’s that?

Chris’ story kicks off with him going AWOL after the loss of almost his entire squad, trying to lose himself in a bottle as a means of forgetting.  Piers tracks his former captain down after six months have gone by with the intention of bringing him back into the fold.  Yet, the immediate response of everyone in the B.S.A.A. is to throw Chris right back in the field without any treatment whatsoever.  It’s even more boggling that Chris has any sense left in between coming off a serious drinking binge, suffering from PTSD, and later obsessively pursuing the woman who killed his teammates.

8) Might as well have a neon sign that says ‘I’m up to no good.’

One of the things I found most puzzling about Resident Evil 6 were the gargantuan humanoid creatures called Ogroman in Chris’ campaign.  For the sake of argument, I will say that RE6’s villainess, Carla, was the one who manufactured the enormous beasts encountered by the protagonists.  I will also assume that she wanted to keep her activities hidden from the game’s other villain, Simmons, so he wouldn’t swoop in and shut her down.  Yet she still tempts fate and blatantly throws several creatures that are larger than a two-story house at the military, as well as spearheads a bio-terrorist organization called Neo-Umbrella.  Since Simmons is a character who has government connections, likes to maintain order, and stay on top of things, it’s a wonder that Carla is able to operate unhindered for at least a six-month period.

7) The villains who wield far too much power.

I can understand the need for RE6’s game designers, after the apparent death of the series’ supervillain, Wesker, in the fifth game, to come up with a bad guy or two worthy of filling the void.  Yet both Carla and Simmons are able to get away with an awful lot.  Between the two of them, they lay claim to a total of three or four enormous secret facilities or bases, orchestrate a presidential assassination, destroy a U.S. city with a guided missile, cause not one but two massive outbreaks that kill at least half a million people, put a big dent in the forces of a global militaristic organization, manufacture one of the most destructive genetic-altering viruses present in the Resident Evil series, and almost bring about the end of the world.  On top of all that, either Carla or Simmons has an aircraft carrier, an oceanic oil rig, and a nuclear sub in their possession.  Dead or not, I imagine that Wesker has to envy these two for greatly outdoing him in the very game that marks their first appearance.

6) Daddy issues.

I consider Sherry and Jake’s campaign the most polished and straightforward out of the four, but I also feel that it held a wasted goldmine of dramatic elements that could easily have been brought into the story.  Midway through their campaign, Jake discovers that the father he’s never known is none other than the late Albert Wesker.  If it were up to me, I would have put more emphasis on how Jake deals with the revelation that his absentee dad was the world’s most wanted bioterrorist.  It would have been interesting to see more of Jake’s transition from a selfish, greedy soldier of fortune at the start of the game to a character who aims to be the antithesis of everything his father stood for.  Even the scene between Jake and his dad’s greatest rival, Chris, toward the end could have been better written and a much more defining moment, for both of them. Instead, Jake, who has shown hatred toward his father through interactions with Sherry, is inexplicably angry at Chris for having killed Wesker.

5) Carla shares Simmons’ obsession with Ada?

The source of the conflict between the two villains in RE6 has an interesting basis, even if the plot itself was not well thought out.  More than a decade prior to the events in the game, Simmons was deeply infatuated with Ada, to the point that he didn’t take it well when she left him.  He spent a great deal of time experimenting with genetics and harming countless people in an attempt to create a doppelganger.  He ultimately succeeded with his devoted lab assistant, Carla, who he brainwashed to behave like the real Ada.  This scheme backfired when Carla regained her memory and went mad with thoughts of revenge.  The one thing I find the most unbelievable about this whole scenario is that Carla makes no attempt to change her appearance once she remembers.  Throughout an entire game that takes place over a six month period, both Ada and Carla have hairstyles that are a perfect match. One could argue that Carla made sure she’d be indistinguishable from the real Ada when it came to framing her.  But given that Carla’s master plan was to destroy the world, why bother?

4) Time for a career change.

From the time of her first appearance in Resident Evil 2 in 1998, Ada has never been known as anything other than a freelance spy.  One can assume that she enjoys what she does or she wouldn’t still be at it by the time the sixth game rolls around in 2012.  While it’s puzzling why Carla even attempts to pin the latest string of terrorist attacks on her, there is a plot element toward the end of Ada’s campaign that makes even less sense.  A peek into Ada’s thoughts reveals that she intends to destroy any evidence that would prove she’d played no part in instigating the attacks.  Unless being labeled as a bioterrorist is some weird way of increasing her notoriety or deepening the pool of people looking to hire her, Ada must really be begging to spend the rest of her days behind bars if any law enforcement agency or the military ever catch her.

3) Zombies on a plane.

My explanation for the plane crash that occurs in chapter 4 of Leon’s campaign is that the game developers must have really wanted a grand spectacle to mark Leon and Helena’s arrival in China.  But the events leading up to it are just plain idiotic.  The buildup to this scenario is as follows.  Leon learns from one of his allies that Simmons is en route to China, and Leon and Helena book a flight in pursuit.  Sometime during the last leg of their trip, the heroes discover that the pilot has fallen victim to a virus and has mutated into a horrific creature that is infecting everyone on board, except for the protagonists.  The game’s biggest mystery is that it never explains how or why the pilot is targeted.  By this point, Simmons had just been made aware by Ada that Carla is on a rampage, so his focus had to be primarily on dealing with her.  And it’s doubtful Carla would set her sights on eliminating Leon and Helena out of nowhere since she pretty much ignores them throughout the whole game.  Unless there was an unknown third villain in play operating from the shadows, it would have been impossible for anyone to start an epidemic aboard a specific jet that had been in the air for roughly twelve hours.

2) Just die already!

Generally, I’m someone who likes a challenge and to square off with any game’s final boss that takes extra time and effort to triumph against.  But RE6 sets the bar ridiculously high when it comes to Leon and Helena battling against Simmons.  Within minutes of being exposed to Carla’s specially-made viral cocktail, Simmons mutates into an oversized canine-like creature and is seemingly stopped when he gets dragged underneath a bullet train that subsequently derails.  But it doesn’t stop there.  For Round Two, he transforms into a mutant T-Rex and seemingly dies again after getting pumped full of lead.  Round Three sees him go back to his first stage mutation and supposedly bite it when Ada stabs him in the side and drops him into a raging inferno.  For the final round, he becomes a giant housefly – God,I wish I was kidding about this – and is ultimately defeated after several lightning strikes courtesy of a metal antenna that gets stuck in him and getting shot by a rocket launcher. And yet what finally kills him is that he reverts to his human self, gets impaled on an obelisk, and bleeds out.  To say all of this is overkill is a vast understatement.

1) If the monsters don’t get you, the camera angles will.

One thing that annoyed me the most about RE6 aside from the many plot holes was a certain game mechanic that got me killed more than once.  Sometimes, when my character was running from something dangerous, the tendency of the camera view to shift by a 90 or 180 degree angle without warning often resulted in said character sprinting in the wrong direction.  This aspect was never more frustrating than when I was playing the last chapter in Chris’ campaign and had to run up this inclined spiral walkway to get away from a giant creature that was after me.  The game keeps track of how many times you’re killed, and in all other chapters, my death count averaged from 3-5.  For Chris’ final chapter, I got killed well over a hundred times before I got it right.  To give an idea, here is a video recorded by another player of the scenario in question.

For a game that has this many flaws, you might ask why I’m in the minority of people who don’t flat out hate it. I would say that as a writer with a very vivid imagination, I see ways in which those imperfections can be corrected.  I have even done so through writing my own What-If fanfiction stories.  I am currently working on an alternate take of the events in the fifth game, a story titled Tangled Web. And I have some ideas in store for a sequel to said story that will borrow the best elements from RE6.

And, whenever I get around to writing my planned fanfiction sequel to Tangled Web, I can guarantee a cooler climax than battling a giant insect.

Carousel Dream

2016-08 PicMy heart beat fast as we approached the carousel. Dad teased me. “I don’t think you’re tall enough, yet. You haven’t been eating all your vegetables, Lindsey.”

“I have so,” I protested. “And I outgrew another pair of pants. I have to be tall enough now.”

He laughed. “Here’s the ruler. Let’s see how you measure up.”

I moved quickly into place, pressing my back flat against the panel and forcing my feet to not stand on tiptoe. “Am I tall enough?”

Dad put his hand to his chin. “Hmmm. Let’s see. I don’t know. It looks pretty close.”

Mom came to my rescue. “You’re tall enough, Lindsey. Happy birthday.” She gave me a hug.

“Oh boy! Can I take a ride now?”

“Yes, go ahead,” Mom said. “We’ll watch you from here.”

I got in line and watched the carousel spin ‘round. Craning my neck, I searched for the object of all my birthday wishes. She came into view. Hair, long and black, tied up in strands of beads. Arms, gracefully placed to lie across her body. More beads, draped around her neck and down her chest. Tail, circled so that her tailfin covered her stomach. The mermaid was beautiful. The most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. I wanted to ride her so badly I could hardly wait.

The mermaid slipped out of view as the ride slowed and came to a stop. I followed the people in front of me as we made our way to the entrance. Finally, it was my turn. I gave my ticket to the man at the gate then ran as fast as I could to get to the mermaid. People scrambled this way and that as they tried to find their favorite creature to ride. I dodged left and right, trying to not get stepped on, as I hurried around to where I thought the mermaid stopped. My heart sank as I saw someone else sitting on her back.

I sighed and settled for riding a bird, a dumb old bird, for my first ride on the carousel all by myself. Four more times during the day, other kids outran me. Now, it was getting late and my parents were going to let me ride the carousel one more time before we left the park.

“Please, please, please, please, please,” I repeated in my head as my dad and I made our way through the crowd. “Yes!” I said out loud as I saw I would be the first person in line. Letting go of Dad’s hand, I started to run.

“Hold on,” yelled Dad. “You’ll need this.” He held out a ticket. I hurried back, grabbed the ticket then ran again towards the gate.

A line of kids grew behind me as I wished for the ride to hurry up and finish. At last, the carousel began to slow. The mermaid came into view and stopped right in front of the entry gate.

I tapped my foot waiting for the riders to exit. Finally, the attendant came to the gate. After handing him my ticket, I flew past him. Reaching the mermaid, I put my foot on the metal stirrup and hoisted myself up. My heart dropped when I thought I couldn’t get my leg over the seat, but I stood on tiptoe and managed to swing into place. An older girl came by and said, “Hey! That’s my ride. Get off.”

I wrapped my arms around the pole. “No, this is my turn. Go ride one of the birds.” Before the girl could say anything else, the attendant came by and shooed her on to a nearby ostrich.

Relaxing a bit, I put my hands on the pole and waited for the ride to start. After everyone was hitched in place, the carousel began to hum. Music began to blare over ancient speakers, and the carousel started to move.

After the first go-round, I waved to my dad. As the carousel turned some more, I gently touched the hair of the mermaid and traced some of the beads. At first, I didn’t notice the air turning a shade of blue-green. Or that the color seemed to be wrapping around me causing everything to fade from view.

When I did notice, I started to get scared. I wrapped my arms around the pole again. “Did the hair of the mermaid move?” I asked myself. I closed my eyes tight then felt the pole disappear and the seat drop from beneath me. Screaming, I waved my arms wildly trying to grab something to keep me from falling.

Hands caught my waist. “Don’t worry. I’ve got you.” The soft voice came from in front of me. Tears fell down my face as I opened my eyes and saw the mermaid facing me. “Hello, Lindsey.”

Her long arms stretched out as she held me up, and her tail gently raised and lowered behind her back. I looked at the mermaid’s face. Her eyes were kind, and happy, and a little sad all at the same time. My breathing started to calm and I sensed that I was floating. As my fear eased up I was able to say “Hello.”

The mermaid smiled. “You’ve tried so hard to be with me today. I want to wish you happy birthday and give you a gift.” She removed her right hand from my waist and reached for one of the strands of beads circling her neck. My heart thumped in my chest as she put the necklace on me.

“Oh thank you!” I said, wrapping my arms around her in a big hug. “Purple is my favorite color. Thank you so much. Can we spend the day together, please?”

“No, not today, but I hope you’ll come visit me again.”

“I will. I promise.”

She gave my cheek a pinch then turned her head away. Her tail came from behind her to lift me up. I felt the softness of her give way, as she returned to her position on the carousel and became hard wood and paint again. The blue-green of the air faded away, and I saw my dad wave as the carousel went around.

I touched the mermaid’s hair as the ride came to a stop. After climbing down, I went to look at her eyes one more time. I could still see the kindness I saw before. “Goodbye,” I whispered.

“Come along, Lindsey,” I heard Dad say. I turned and walked down the exit to meet him. “Did you have a good time?” Before I could answer he asked, “Where did those beads come from?”

“The mermaid gave them to me,” I replied.

“The mermaid? On the carousel?”

“Yes! She came to life and gave me these for my birthday.” I smiled from ear to ear.

Dad shook his head the way he and Mom often did when talking with me. “Let’s go find your mother.” I took his hand and skipped alongside him as he walked.

Resident Evil illogical moments

Until the first live-action Resident Evil movie starring Milla Jovovich came out in 2002, I had never actually played any of the games. My general experience with the series was limited to watching gameplay videos online or reading the novel adaptations written by S.D. Perry.  I don’t favor the films since they are anything but faithful adaptations and have all the established characters from the Resident Evil, or RE for short, universe play second fiddle to an all-original character portrayed by Jovovich.  But the games aren’t without their share of problems.

While most of the games in the series have stellar stories, epic action sequences, interesting heroes and villains, and truly iconic monsters, there are also moments that don’t make any sense whatsoever if you think about it. Which I have.  What follows is my list of the ten most illogical things in the Resident Evil video game series.  I thought about including a moment from the latest main entry in the series, but there is so much wrong with RE6 that it deserves its own list.

10) Are the bad guys really this bored or stupid?

The opening for RE4 has government agent Leon Kennedy journeying to a remote area in Spain in search of the President’s missing daughter, Ashley.  Story-wise, I believe only two hours transpire from when Leon first encounters a hostile cult-like terrorist group behind the abduction to when he finds a random note written by one of the cultists.  This note not only acknowledges Leon’s presence in their village, but it also flat out states where Ashley is being held.  Given that the cultists have been hell-bent on eliminating Leon as a threat up to this point, it begs the question on why one of them would take the time to write this.  And, the note’s writer may as well have added an additional sentence: I’ll just leave this lying on a table where the intruder can easily spot it.

9) Fear of getting wet?

The water puzzle in the prequel game, Resident Evil Zero, where you have to move three crates to form a pathway over this rather small tank – simply to retrieve a valve needed to access a locked room, I might add – couldn’t be more ridiculous if it tried.  One thought that crossed my mind, as I was pushing the boxes into place, was ‘Why can’t Rebecca or Billy just swim across to get what they need?’  What makes it even more absurd is that this puzzle is encountered just after Billy pulled himself out of a waterway and hadn’t had time to dry off.

8) Shoddy containment measures.

One of the most curious aspects of RE5 is how many monsters are roaming about unchecked in Wesker’s secret facility.  While one could argue that the game’s antagonists unleashed the majority of them to deal with Chris and Sheva, the cages for the Lickers tell a different story.  The beasts are seen confined within a glass enclosure that they can, and do, easily break out of when the heroes are passing by.  There is evidence that at least three people have been killed by these creatures before Chris and Sheva even stumble upon them.  Given that the Lickers are one of the deadliest creatures present in the series, it’s questionable why even Wesker doesn’t take better care to protect his own staff from them.

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Clockwise from top left: Wesker distracted by Alexia; Resident Evil Zero’s crate puzzle; Glass cage for the Lickers in RE5; Chris preparing to punch a boulder; Rachel Foley running from a monster; and Ben’s prison cell in RE2. (photo credits at end)

7) Did the dogs really stay by the doors the entire time?

The first game in the series kicks off with members of the paramilitary organization, S.T.A.R.S., taking refuge in a seemingly deserted mansion after being chased through the woods by a group of zombified Dobermans.  The majority of the game centers around trying to find an alternate way out, as any attempt to exit through the front doors results in one of the dogs gaining entry to the house and attacking whichever character tried to leave.  It doesn’t matter what point of the game it is; the dogs are always there.  Why they stick around that area even when the S.T.A.R.S. members aren’t anywhere near the main hall is anyone’s guess, especially when there has to be something more accessible to hunt somewhere in the forest.

6) Wesker is far too easily distracted.

In RE: Code Veronica, the mainstay villain of the series, normally known for having remarkable focus and awareness, can’t seem to decide who to give his undivided attention to at various points.  During one scene where he has his mortal enemy, Chris, in a chokehold and is threatening to end his life, Wesker hears the game’s primary villainess, Alexia, laughing on a nearby computer monitor before the screen goes dark.  For whatever reason, Wesker throws Chris aside and immediately takes off to chase her down.  Yet later, when Wesker is actually fighting Alexia, he seemingly forgets about her and lunges toward Chris when he realizes the latter is present in the room.  As a result, Alexia nearly succeeds in setting Wesker on fire.

5) Turn off for the relentless killing machine?

RE3 sees Jill Valentine attempting to escape the doomed Raccoon City while also trying to survive against a genetically-engineered humanoid creature called Nemesis that’s been programmed to kill her and the other S.T.A.R.S. survivors from the first game.  Jill is relentlessly pursued by Nemesis throughout RE3 until a period where she is infected with a virus and requires a cure to keep breathing.  A man named Carlos, who isn’t even a S.T.A.R.S. member, comes to her aid by manufacturing the antidote she needs.  Even though Jill has been left unprotected and virtually helpless, Nemesis comes after Carlos while he’s on his way back to her.  Given that Nemesis otherwise dogs her every step of the way, this sudden deviation is very curious.

4) Must have found a plot hole to walk through.

During an exploration of the derelict, creature-infested police station in RE2, rookie cop Leon and corporate spy Ada come across a man named Ben who’s locked himself in a jail cell.  Ben states that he wishes to stay in there because he feels it’s safer than roaming the halls.  Later in the game, Leon is literally at the other end of the hall from the holding cells when he hears Ben screaming.  When the scene cuts to Ben, he’s seen being attacked by a particularly large monster that’s somehow gotten into the cell with him though the door is still shut and there is no other viable entry point in sight.  Even odder is that when Leon makes it over there less than a minute later, the creature is nowhere to be found.

3) How many members does this terrorist group have?

Much of the plot of RE: Revelations revolves around a bio-terrorist group known as Veltro and an investigation on whether or not they’re still active.  Several pairs of military teams are sent to investigate the cruise ships that Veltro had been using as their base of operations, only to find that each ship is overrun with mutated members of the terrorist group.  Ridiculously overrun, as there never seems to be any shortage of creatures around during the exploration of the primary ship, the Queen Zenobia.  During one battle, there’s even an endless supply of humanoid monsters coming out of the vents to replace the ones killed by the player.

2) How did she make it into the military if she’s this spineless?

The government organization known as the FBC, or Federal Bioterrorism Commission, featured in Resident Evil: Revelations seemed to have many promising agents to its name.  Three of the four who were featured most prominently – Raymond, Jessica, and Parker – seemed more than capable of keeping their wits in dangerous situations.  Not the case with Rachel Foley.  While it’s unclear how long she’d been an agent prior to being sent to investigate the Queen Zenobia, she immediately turns into a proverbial damsel in distress when faced with just one of the mutated creatures roaming the ship.  She even throws her gun at the creature when she runs out of bullets.

1) Chris suddenly becomes Hercules.

Even though I’ve seen the most outlandish moment in RE5 as the butt of many jokes on the internet, I still have to include it on this list.  During the game’s final battle, Chris Redfield’s idea of creating a safe pathway for his partner, Sheva, is to repeatedly punch a boulder three times his size to get it to move.  You would think that, after Chris stated in an earlier point in the same game that he’s no superhero and even exhibited signs of pain just from punching his arch-enemy, Wesker, in the face, there would be some hesitation before carrying out this daunting task.  Nope.  Not only does Chris rush in and start whaling on this giant rock, but he also gets it rolling aside in under 30 seconds.

Regardless of this list of criticisms, I am a huge fan of the video game series. What I like most is how the games have evolved with the times.  I love the puzzle-driven adventures released from 1996 to 2002 just as much the high definition third-person shooter style from 2004 on.  Each game, excluding the spinoffs of Operation Raccoon City and the Chronicles series, brings something unique to the table that sets it apart from the rest.  Whether you prefer the tense, fast-paced scenario in RE3 that forces the player to keep moving, the twist-around-every-corner story present in Code Veronica, the impressive cinematic fights involving Wesker in RE5, or even discovering the secret cause of the first outbreak in Resident Evil Zero, there is something to satisfy just about everyone.

And the soon-to-be-released RE7, coming next year, promises a new spin on the series. According to reports, it will be a first-person shooter and will return the series to its “horror roots.”  It is unknown yet what the story will be or if any of the previous characters of the series will even be present in this newest installment, but it is something to which I am very much looking forward.
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Photo credits:
1–Wesker distracted by Alexia
2–Resident Evil Zero’s crate puzzle
3–Glass cage for the Lickers in Resident Evil 5
4–Chris prepares to punch a boulder
5–Rachel Foley runs from a monster
6–Ben’s prison cell in Resident Evil 2