Category Archives: -Phil Rosette

Playing Leapfrog

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phil7.1.12With Knock Softly (KS) finished, it’s time to clean up. But first, the statistics.

With “The End,” KS crossed the finish line at 128,814 words, 448 pages in manuscript format, in 44 Chapters. It took 21 months to write and I compiled 28 pages of notes, plus a thick folder of printed articles. There are four main characters and four support characters as well as a cast of over two dozen doctors, nurses, lawyers and the like. There are two main settings and a couple of side trips. And two dogs. And one mysterious friend who seems to know everything. Done.

Then I played “Leapfrog” with the novel, only going backwards. I re-read chapters 43 and 44, then re-read 41 and 42, then 39 and 40 and so on, until I finished back at chapter one. This allowed me to know where I was going and to be sure each chapter led clearly and succinctly to the next. It also allowed me to “kill my darlings.” I’ve spoken of them before; those cleaver little verses that seemed so cute at the time. But in leapfrog, they appeared as obstacles that only got in the way of a good jump. I also identified areas that needed shoring up for what comes next, and those I marked with an “R/W.” I did not rewrite anything, just cut and identified what needed more work.

The manuscript now weighs in at 120,090 words, 429 mms pages. It took seven days and produced another page and a half of notes. Twenty pages went into the dust bin, 8,800 worthless words. Bye, darlings.

Now comes the real fun part; I get to play God! I will start again from the beginning, only now knowing all, I will tighten the read, heighten the valleys and smooth the jagged edges with that last chapter, last page, paragraph, the very last word, in mind.

Some of the things I will be on the lookout for are, first and foremost, character development. I want to be sure my folks develop on pace and keep with their persona. I was amazed at how many times my characters cried. I didn’t set out to make weaklings but that’s how they appeared in some scenes. I noticed a lot of character movements when a simple he said, she said, would work better, faster. Even after leapfrog, the characters are still smiling 148 times, sighing 48 times, and mad or angry 51 times. Not to mention all the tears. I’ve still got work to do.

You don’t see these things while writing first draft because you are wearing each character’s hat and navigating them through uncharted waters. Your adrenalin is flowing and you just want to keep the action moving forward. You forget they’re human, that they need to breathe, too. I don’t how much more there is to cut. I don’t have a target word count or anything. I’m letting KS sit for a few weeks before I come back to it with fresh eyes.

Am I happy? So far. Satisfied? Not yet. Eager? Yep!

Next month, we’ll take a look at correctile dysfunction; the author’s inability to line edit their own work.

-Phil

 

Seoul40  Freya40

Seoul Legacy, The Orphan’s Flu is available in paperback on Abe, and on Amazon in paperback & ebook.

The Freya Project is available in hardcover and limited edition from the author. Quantities from Countinghouse Press.

Headache vs. Heartache

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Headache. The name says it all. Tell a stranger you have a headache and he knows exactly what ails you. He might even have a good recommendation to cure it. Like, take a pill. Tell a stranger you have a heartache and he has no idea what to say next. There is no simple recommendation, no pill.

Headaches are always in your head; heartaches are never in your heart, not the organ, anyway. You have no control for the onset of a headache, but you can forestall heartaches with just strong will.

A headache creates a sharp pain that is impossible to ignore. It can be unbearable, but most headaches are short lived and you make a full recovery. The pain a heartache causes can’t be measured on such a simple scale as sharp or dull. Like the tide, heartaches ebb and flow over time, but the ocean is always present. The pill you take comes in the form of your next deep breath. Usher in a new thought wave.

Headaches are real. You can see the suffering all over a person’s face. Heartaches are real, too, but the suffering rarely shows itself to the world. With both aches, your world closes around you and life becomes impossibly small. It’s easy to understand the one ache, impossible to understand the other. And with both, you can only wait away the pain.

You never relive the same headache, each is stingingly different. You always relive the same haunting heartache.

Time heals all wounds they say, and that’s true enough. If we’re lucky, we outlive all of our headaches and our heartaches. It takes a while, but eventually we realize that neither ache leaves a scar.

These aching thoughts have been weighing heavily on me now that Knock Softly has come to a conclusion. There are a lot of aches at the end of my story; head, heart and otherwise. Correctly tying these internal pains together with their actors on the printed page is causing migraines in this author’s head.

And I have a heavy heart at this point in the story. I know I’m leaving now and I won’t be returning. This is the point the author has to say goodbye. Like good friends, I’ve become fond of my characters. Unlike good friends, I’ll never hear from these actors again. Like a heartache, this goodbye is final but never really over.

But I can’t let my own aches and pains get in the way. It’s only fair that the reader has a taste of these main characters’ futures. After a sumptuous main course, I can’t let a lousy dessert spoil the meal. I’m serving up Bittersweets for dessert in Knock Softly. Bon appetit!

“There Is a Seat for Every Ass”

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P.T. Barnum is supposed to have said that in reference to filling up his Circus’s Big Tent with paying customers. Or so I’ve been led to believe for many years because I’ve used this quote in the past. But when I go to famous quotes websites I find no attribute to Barnum or anyone else.

Oh well. I still like it because the same could be said for antiquarian books. For every old book there is buyer. Somewhere. I bring this up because that’s what I’ve been thinking as I sort through the 3,000 plus volumes Birchwood Books acquired last month. It’s been full-stop on the novel-in-progress, Knock Softly (working title), while I get this inventory sorted. So far, the oldest book dates to 1631, is in Latin, was printed in France and is about a Spanish Governor. The newest dates to 2001. I’m only about two-thirds of the way through the initial sorting.

To sort, I separate the books into four primary categories: keep; next; too low for online; and donate. Keep means this is a book I’d still like to find on my shelf tomorrow morning, so it will be among the last books to be listed for sale. I’ve found a couple hundred of these. The largest category is next, and that is sub-divided into older and newer books. Newer being post-1960 in this case, and that’s what most of this collection is. The books that are too low for online will be sold, hopefully, in bulk to other bookstores for a few dollars each.

So far, we have donated over 400 books to the John Dingle V.A. Hospital in Detroit and to our local library. Why would you donate a collectable book? Because the market has changed over the past 30 years and these are books that do not have any true collector appeal anymore, mostly due to their condition. Today’s collector, that person who will take out their wallet for a title they really want, is only interested in good looking material. No doubt, there is a seat for this ass (the donated book), but the time and effort it would take to find makes it a losing proposition in today’s market. All collectable books fluctuate in value but they don’t always increase. With the addition of Amazon and eBay, there are more choices for any given title than ever and that has driven the market down sharply over the past decade. Better to take the donation value now and let someone else have the fun of owning it and taking a little profit years later if/when the market rebounds. If it takes another thirty years, I’ll be in my nineties, or my grave. Folks will find some great stories in these books. But in truth, nobody is collecting Christopher Morley these days, or Patrick O’Brian, McPhee, Harte or Haycraft. Their stars my rise again, but with shelf space at a premium around here, I have to be as careful with what I keep as I am with what I donate.

There is a fifth section to the sort; it’s called 2018. As in, do not open this box until 2018. There are only about 75 of these so far. They are all good, collectable books but there’s just too much competition right now. Think Ann Rice, Norman Mailer and John Updike. All shinning-star authors, all first edition books in fine or near fine condition, but only saleable at around fifteen to twenty dollars in today’s market. Their future looks brighter so we’ll hang on to them. You don’t get in the antiquarian book business for quick turnarounds and profits. Some books, many in fact, we’ve held for a decade or longer.

What’s the best thing I’ve pulled out of a box so far? On a personal note, that would be A. Conan Doyle’s The Return of Sherlock Holmes in true first edition. I’ve been looking for an affordable copy for over 30 years and I literally dance around holding the book over my head after I pulled it from the box. But from a collector standpoint, it has to be Thomas Payne’s 1791 Rights of Man. A fine example of the first edition, second printing, in the original paper wraps. It appears unread all these years. America was fifteen years old when Payne wrote this book. Born British, Payne also penned Common Sense – the book that sparked the American Revolution. For Rights of Man, England convicted Payne in absentia for “seditious libel” and issued a standing order for his arrest if he ever stepped foot on British soil again. Now, that’s a book with impact!

Special callout here to friends and fellow Author, Tony and Bonnie Virag (Stove Pipe). It was Tony who told me about this collection last September. Thank you, and, Bonnie, I understand Stove Pipe is in its second printing now! That’s the only sign of success in this business, and you did it! Congratulations. If you haven’t read her book, it’s a terribly gripping story.

Next month, we’ll get back to Knock Softly.

Read on, friends.

The Contenders

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Received a lot of good responses to last month’s blog about coming up with a better moniker for Knock Softly.

Everyone agrees that the title is a deciding factor when selecting a new read. That and the cover image(s) are the only things people see before they pick up your book. Those two things and the blurb on the back cover have to say “buy me now.” If not, every other word you’ve written is pointless. I want a strong title that not only draws you in, but also carries its own ballooning weight as the story progresses. Ideally, this title should cause an afterglow effect once the reader has finished the novel. That’s what I’m shooting for.

The need for a title to “sum up” the story came into question, and that was unexpected. I was reminded that some of the best titles intrigue or entice without explaining themselves at all, or not until the very end. Pat Conroy’s Prince of Tides is a good example. Margaret Mitchell’s Gone with the Wind is another.

As far as which title everyone thought best, I have to laugh. As responses started coming in, I was reminded of something my brother, Dave, once told me way back in the 20th century. He’s ten years older and light-years wiser, and he said that, “People don’t know what they want, they only want what they know.” I laughed because all the first suggestions said don’t change the title, or put the ellipsis back in. Then, I started to get other suggestions. I’ve narrowed it down to seven, but first, here’s a draft of a 100-word synopsis for the back cover blurb:

There are things worse than death. Reoccurring cancer is one.

Elizabeth Bergman, mother, lover, wife and special education teacher, won her first bout with cancer ten years ago. She recovered and led the perfect life until an unexpected pregnancy coincided with cancer’s return.

Only mitochondrial DNA can save her now, but to get it, her husband must first unlock a dark and secret past his wife has kept from him and the children. Her desire to die with her secret is almost as strong as her will to live for her children and the child she carries, and for the life she hopes to carry on.

And now, the Contenders…

  1. Knock Softly…
  2. Knock Softly
  3. Ring Around the Twisted Ladder (the double helix & ring around the rosy)
  4. Carry on, Mrs. Bergman (or, Carry on, Mr. & Mrs. Bergman)
  5. Elizabeth! (Several by this title, none with the !, almost all about Queen E. or E. Taylor)
  6. Both Sides Now (Joni Mitchel’s song. Look up the lyrics if unfamiliar; spot on.)
  7. All to Die For (or, All to Die For, Baby. Liz’s outlook from start to finish)

The last two are somewhat ambiguous, but so are the first two.

Now what works best in your mind?

How Important is the Title?

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What weight should we give to the title of a novel?

If the sum of a book is 100%, is the title worth 20% or 80%? On the one hand, if the title isn’t catchy then potential book buyers may never pick it up. All the efforts the author has put in will never be tested. What a waste for both author and reader. On the other hand, if the title is too convoluted readers may not understand the direction the author is taking them. Like a four-star chef, authors want readers to finish their creation. Putting it aside half-finished is worse than having never started. It is the difference between telling the waiter, “I’ll try something else, thank you,” and telling your friends, “I’ll never eat in that restaurant again.”

This question has been weighing heavily on my mind for the past few months as I turn the final corner on writing Knock Softly (working title). I’ve asked a few fellow writers – those who are in my writing group and have read the manuscript so far – to think of something better. Nothing is sticking. I try not to fret about it, tell myself it’s not important until you finish, but that finish line is now in sight and the fret is turning into sweat.

Let’s look at the responsibility of a title. That’s right, a title has responsibilities. First and foremost it has to succinctly sum up your story. It also has to be catchy enough to cause a reaction. It should say either “pick me up” or “not for me.” But is that all? Shouldn’t the title also come into to play at the end of the read? Shouldn’t the reader be able to see that title again on someone else’s shelf and be able to recall the entire story? Have an engaging conversation with that person over the book? Gone with the Wind does that. So does Hunt for Red October and To Kill a Mockingbird, and numerous others. That’s my dilemma with Knock Softly. I want a title that will recall the entire tome when next you see it again.

I came up with Knock Softly strictly as a constant reminder to myself that no main characters die in this story – there are things worse than death. Cancer is the villain. Curing our heroine is the story’s master thread, and keeping that central to the other events in the story hasn’t been difficult. Those other events include our heroine’s infidelity and a tortured past life she’s kept secret from her husband and children. Only mitochondrial DNA can save her now. To get it, her husband must delve into her dark past. Her desire to die with her secret is almost as strong as her will to live for her children and the child she carries. Knock Softly doesn’t convey any of that.

In Knock Softly, we have a mother of two, pregnant with another man’s child and suffering stage-4 cancer. She refuses to abort the baby, even though it increasingly diminishes her own chances of survival. Her husband rides the full length of the emotional rapids as he discovers there is so much more to the woman he married.

I don’t have the answer to my question; what weight should we give to the title of a novel?

I suspect it’s a squishy number, based on how strong the author’s own name is. Steven King could call his next novel Untitled and it would sell out. I doubt 100 copies would sell if my name were on it. For someone like me, a mild-mannered suspense writer whose day job is composing coherent internet ads in forty characters or less, I suspect the title is worth nearly half of everything written. It is in advertising, and in selling newspapers.

Now taking good suggestions for A.K.A. Knock Softly. Anyone?