Have you ever had “Writer’s Block”? I have it all the time and I hate it! I’m sitting in front of the computer getting ready to write. My fingers hover over the keys.
Ready! Set! Go!
Ugh?
What am I going to write about? What can I say that anyone, yes anyone, would want to read?
I gained inspiration the last time I went to the Deadwood Writers’ Group. My friend Barbara brought this picture:
“OMG! Where is that kid when I need him? The last time I had a problem with my computer, I phoned Apple. After waiting 18 minutes on hold, someone picked up.
“Let me connect you to the person who handles that,” he said.
I put the phone on speaker and started answering my email. 20 minutes later and still no one had picked up. I checked my phone. It was still on speaker.
I went back to answering my email. A few more minutes passed. I noticed something. What was it?
OMG! Silence.
I’d been disconnected. My phone said I’d been on hold 25 minutes just to be disconnected. No!
Where is that kid? He may be young but I bet he knows what to do!!!
Have you read Being Mortal by Atul Gawande yet? It’s a very interesting book on several levels. Being a writer, I learned from seeing him make his points through telling stories. He told stories about his patients, himself, and his family. It gave the book an intimate feel, like this could be happening to me or someone I know. If not now, maybe some time in the future?
From a psychological point of view, I could see that he wants to help people. He thinks that if he’s able to get you, his readers, think these things through now, when you’re healthy, then you’ll have the time you need. You’ll be able to reflect and come up with what you personally want in order to have your very best day each day that you have left.
I expected the book to be depressing. After all, it’s about the end of life. And, considering no one has ever come back from the other side, a lot of people don’t like to think about this, especially me.
But what drew me in was the strain of kindness, compassion, and hope that runs throughout the book, chapter after chapter. I could see that he wanted to prepare his readers to get the information we’d need to make decisions that would give each of us the best possible life right up to the very end.
He talks about how doctors are trained to save lives but not how to share bad information, tell patients their disease is terminal or help them make end of life decisions.
Over and over he makes the point, that when the doctor says, “We have this new treatment. I think it’ll help you,” the doctor is thinking one or two years. But the patient is thinking 10 or 20. This is a huge misunderstanding.
Usually the patient never asks, “How much time will this treatment give me?” and “How much of that time will be good time, i.e. time where I’m awake, alert and my pain is controlled enough so that I can enjoy spending it with my family and friends?”
Frankly, the doctor is relieved. He or she is not prepared, even in the last weeks, to say, “This disease is terminal. You have at most a few weeks or months, not all of them good. You might want to think about what’s important to you, something you’d like to do or say to the people close to you.”
He tells horror stories of doctors, right up until the very end, knowing the patient will probably not survive more than a week or two, offering new treatments. Why? Because doctors are uncomfortable saying things like, “This disease is terminal.” “There is no treatment today that can cure you.” “The most we can do is make you comfortable.”
My takeaway from this book is, after the doctor has explained all possible relevant treatments to fight the disease, three questions the patient or the patient’s family need to ask when someone is critically ill. They are:
When you think about the research and your patients who have undergone these treatments, for each treatment you talked about, what is the longest time any of them got?
How much of that time was “good time”, i.e. time where the person was awake, alert, and their pain controlled to the point that they could enjoy their day?
If you did nothing heroic, instead just controlled the pain and treated the disease to slow it down, how much “good time” would you have?
I think the answers to these questions would be far more valuable in helping each of us decide what we want to do than just starting another new treatment.
*Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End by Atul Gawande, Metropolitan Books, Henry Holt and Company, New York, 2014.
Have you ever seen the Book of Kells? I did, last month when I was in Ireland. The original book, actually 340 folios, written around 800 CE, is at Trinity College in Dublin. It has its own very impressive exhibit, located on the first floor in a specially climate controlled, dimly lit room.
The Book of Kells is magnificent! Each page is beautifully decorated. Three different artists illustrated the book while four principal monks copied the text, which sometimes included decorating the letters themselves. It contains copies of the four gospels that were written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.
No one is sure if the Book of Kells was created entirely at the monastery in Iona, an island off the coast of Scotland, or the one at Kells in County Meath, Ireland or both. In those days the two monasteries were organized as one community, even though they were far apart.
Today the Book of Kells is part of a very elaborate exhibit and no cameras are allowed because it is so old.
On their website, Trinity College says,
The manuscript’s celebrity derives largely from the impact of its lavish
decoration, the extent and artistry of which is incomparable. Abstract
decoration and images of plant, animal and human ornament punctuate
the text with the aim of glorifying Jesus’ life and message, and keeping
his attributes and symbols constantly in the eye of the reader.*
I think you will agree when you look at this picture:
**
I was getting ready to exit the exhibit and go outside when I saw a well-worn staircase to my left. Several people were walking upstairs. I was curious. What’s up there?
I slowly climbed the staircase to the second floor and entered a square room with people milling around. But it was the room beyond that took my breath away. It was very long and narrow. I don’t remember ever seeing another one like it. It had shelves of books from floor to ceiling on both sides. I’ve never been in a room with so many books! There were over 200,000 in all. I smiled when I found out the name of this room: The Long Room.
The bookshelves on both sides of the room were broken up into a series of alcoves. Marking the boundary of each alcove was the bust of a famous author on a tall pedestal. As a budding author, I couldn’t resist having my picture taken with one of them.
If you’re having a hard time telling which one is me, I’m the one with my feet on the ground.
* Book of Kells, Trinity College, Dublin, Ireland:
Everywhere I go today, I see people on their cell phones. If they’re not talking, they’re texting, checking Facebook or one of their other apps. I’ve seen couples in trendy restaurants doing this between courses. It’s like everyone is with someone else, just not with the person they’re sitting with. I’ve started to wonder, is this affecting our personal relationships?
Sherry Turkle, author of Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age, says, “We know that for children the best predictor of success later in life is the number of meals shared with their families.”* Why? It’s because of the conversations that take place. Children learn to listen, speak, and see the affect their words have on others. Parents have the opportunity to share their day, find out what their children think and offer guidance. This is all done through conversation. Even the silences can be helpful as children learn they can be comfortable with others when no one’s talking.
Today family meals are harder to arrange because of all the activities different members are involved in. A family has to be really committed to the importance of family meals for them to happen. And when they do, frequently the parents bring their cell phones to the table. The children have theirs in their pockets. Someone starts to talk. Another person goes to Google to check to see if they have it right. Now it’s become a competition for the right answer rather than the sharing of experiences.
Or, there’s a “No Cell Phone” rule but one of the parent’s phones vibrates. Now they’re curious. Is it important or can it wait? They try to peek and see. Their children notice that their parents are distracted, not really listening to what they’re saying, so they stop talking. Now there’s no conversation or it’s very light because everyone realizes no one is really paying attention. Gradually everyone brings out their cell phone. Now, no one is talking.
Conversation brings people together. Cell phones at the table push them apart.
I’m not against cell phones. I have one and use it all the time. It makes my life go more smoothly. But, and this is a BIG but, there’s a time and place for everything and the place for cell phones is not at the table. Conversation is too important.
Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age by Sherry Turkle, Penguin Press, N.Y., 2015, Page 47.
What do you think of when you hear the name Chautauqua, Chautauqua, New York?
The first thing I thought of was an Indian Tribe. Was I wrong! Wikipedia says, Chautauqua was an adult education movement in the United States, highly popular in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. …The Chautauqua brought entertainment and culture for the whole community, with speakers, teachers, musicians, entertainers, preachers and specialists of the day.Former U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt was quoted as saying that Chautauqua is “the most American thing in America.”
I first became interested in the Chautauqua Lectures when I was driving home from work in Chicago. I’d tune in to Public Radio and frequently the announcer would say they were “live at Chautauqua”, carrying a speech by someone well known in their field. I felt very fortunate to be able to listen in! So when I read that Road Scholar was offering weeklong trips there, I knew we had to go.
Today Road Scholar, an educational travel organization for anyone 50 and over, offers weeklong trips to Chautauqua. They are filled with lectures on various interesting topics from 9:00 to 12:00 each morning. The speakers are interesting and well prepared.
The afternoons are for yoga, nature walks, relaxing or exploring on your own.
After dinner there’s live entertainment. One night we heard a singing group, another night it was a jazz trio and the last night was a musical performance by a one-man orchestra!
My husband and I went for the week starting May 15.
I’m not sure what was more enjoyable: The lectures, the Athenaeum Hotel where we stayed or the town of Chautauqua itself.
We stayed at the Athenaeum Hotel, a few yards from Chautauqua Lake. The view was lovely. The hotel had been built in the 1880s and modernized. It had large front and side porches with rocking chairs for reading and chatting and tables for eating outside or playing cards.
This is the view from our room, #22.
After this experience, I agree with Theodore Roosevelt, Chautauqua is “the most American thing in America.”
